My love letters

The first letter

My letters are my most secret possessions. I wrote them when I had a crush so intense, I didn't know what else to do. There were 5 in total. 5 people I had a crush on, but never the courage to tell them. Maybe that's why I never had a boyfriend. I'm a coward.

These letters helped me let out my feelings, without getting rejected. So many times, I've thought about how it would feel to actually send them, but I never had the guts to do so. The embarrassment and exposal coming with that was way too dangerous for me. I'm not that kind of person.

I'm the kind of person that writes in a diary three times a day and never talks about their feelings with anyone. Not even my best friends. I had my letters stored well protected. Nobody else knew about them. They were my biggest secret.

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The first letter

"Y/n are you coming?"

Ginny was already waiting to leave for Quidditch practice. This was the third time this week we would discuss our team strategy for the game against Slytherin next weekend. I quickly grabbed my things and ran down the stairs of our common room.

"Sorry, I lost track of time." I smiled at my best friend and was looking forward to Quidditch practice.

"Oh, don't worry, we're still waiting for Harry. Guess the chosen one doesn't have a problem if others wait for him." I laughed, she was always so funny, and it made my day better every single time.

"Oh shut up. You've been waiting for 10 seconds, princess." Harry smirked and wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. 

We talked about our strategy while walking towards the field. It was a sunny day, but the grass was still frozen from last night. Ginny and I turned right towards the girl's lockers and Harry turned left. We quickly changed and grabbed our broomsticks.

"Where's the rest? Are we late or the first ones here?!" Ginny looked around searching for the other girls. I checked my wristwatch. It was 7:50.

"We're early." I sighed. I really missed the feeling of my warm blanket right now.

We made our way outside the lockers and saw that Harry and Oliver were already up in the air warming up. Ginny pushed off the ground and I was just about to follow her when Oliver made a dive in my direction and landed right next to me.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah sure, what is it?" I already knew what this would be about. As a Seeker he always warns me about the Seeker of the opposite team with a complete analysis of their strategy and personal life. I was preparing for a long lecture, as there was probably a lot to say about Draco Malfoy.

"I really appreciate it. But- It's not going to happen... like never." he looked concerned and I was more confused than ever.

"I'm sorry- What?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Look, I like you. You're a good Seeker. A really good one... and your funny and pretty, but- It's just not how I feel... You know?"

My throat got dry and immediate panic spread through my body. Fuck. The letter. He knew. But how? I wrote that letter months ago, how did he get it? My thoughts were spinning. He looked so cute right now and his hair was all mussy from practice. He always looked so cute. I fell for him the minute I joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team and hearing that he doesn't feel the same way for me hurt. It hurt so bad and I didn't know how to respond.

"Sorry, I- I didn't mean for you to read that." Now he looked even more confused.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Thanks for being honest." I felt my eyes fill with water, so I avoided his gaze and got on my broom. Without looking at him again I pushed off the ground and pulled up. The cold wind was hitting in my face and my eyes started hurting.

I was so embarrassed. How was I supposed to focus on practice with what he just said? His words were replaying in my mind and my body started shaking. If he knew about his letter, did the others know to? I prayed for myself that they didn't, and there was nothing I could do but wait. Wait and hope that he was the only one who knew.

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After practice I tried to avoid Oliver as much as possible. Which was conceivable hard given the fact that he was our team's captain. And a Gryffindor. I tried to signalize Ginny that I needed to talk to her in private, and she immediately understood.

She grabbed her things and walked back to the castle with me.

"What's wrong?"

"You know how I never tell you about my crushes when you ask?" I felt my cheeks blush.

"Yes. It's the most annoying thing you do." She laughed and wrapped her arm around me.

"Well. I kind of write them down. As a letter." My voice made it sound like a question and it made Ginny frown.

"You write letters to your crushes? I'm so confused right now-"

"I do, but I don't send them. And... the thing is that he knows."

Ginny instantly stopped walking and her mouth opened in shock "OLIVER?"

I begged for her not to tell anyone and I looked apologetically at her "I know... I just couldn't help it, I-"

Her lips started building a big smirk "Ok listen up baby, if you want him, we'll get him for you."

I loved her for taking this jokingly and hugged her. "Thank you so much, Ginny." We both started laughing about the situation and kept walking towards the castle.