cloudy with a Chance of freedom

chapter 16

Skull looked at Sirius. Sirius looked back at his godson.

"Remind me again why you helped free him?" asked Camellia dryly, moving a page in her book.

Outside of tormenting Lockhart, the year had been rather boring. On the plus side, she had gotten much better at the finer aspects of her illusions and was slowly chipping away at the man's sanity. Verde was rather pleased with his new vic... er, unwilling test subject after Skull cheerfully presented the bound and gagged form of one Peter Pettigrew. Thanks to several spells and the fact he owed a massive blood debt to the house of Black, Pettigrew couldn't escape even if he wanted. Not even his rat form would save him.

Peter had come to fear the deranged Lightning who was rather gleeful at the fact he had both a test subject that could work for both animal trials and human testing. Or a general reliever of his boredom. The odds of him maintaining his sanity were dropping every time Verde came to visit the man with something new to play with.

"Because it would have been a complete pain in the ass if I was the one trying to free him. Besides he might turn out to be somewhat tolerable with a little house training...and possibly a quick vet visit. From what I understand neutering is done a lot quicker than spaying."

"If you even think of going near my balls with a knife I'll piss in your bed...and not as a dog either," growled Sirius.

"Bring it you impotent old geezer," smirked Skull.

"I'll show you old you brat!" said Sirius, tackling him.

Camellia rolled her eyes and merely created an illusion to elevate her far above the male bonding session.

Sirius came out of it with a black eye and a few loose teeth, but he was grinning wildly. It was like having James back!

"I'm so proud of you! With any luck you'll have a harem of honeys by the time you graduate!"

Camellia didn't hide her reaction. She started cracking up.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Harry has already made his opinion of harems very clear when the term started. The short and simple answer is he wants nothing to do with one because they're too much trouble."

Sirius stared at his godson in horror.

"Is this true?"

"Only an idiot would want one. One or two I could handle, but any more than that and it would be more trouble than it's worth."

"But, but..."

"Now this I have to hear," said Remus. "Care to explain your reasoning?"

"It's expensive, the time management required would be nearly impossible to pull off, and there's no way any wizard would be able to have the stamina to keep a proper harem happy without killing himself to pull it off," said Skull listing his reasons. "That and I'm a bit of a romantic at heart, so the idea of a 'harem' has never really appealed to me."

Seeing the two older wizards staring at him, Skull repeated the same reasoning he gave his housemates.

"Keeping everyone clothed, fed, and other romantic gifts adds up the more people inside the harem...and don't get me started on the long term costs of the inevitable pregnancies. Then there's the time and effort that goes into a proper date, and you'd have to consider how much time is enough to spend with each girl so they don't feel neglected or unloved without making any of the others jealous in return. And of course the physical aspect comes with a few pitfalls, like the fact that every time you finish you expend a lot of fluids and energy, and if you don't give yourself sufficient time to rest and recover you could end up killing yourself by accident," he listed.