Forever and Always

Chapter Five {Part 2}

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Dinner is long over, and the sky is fading to a soft lavender when I settle on the front steps. Donavan will be home any minute, and I need all the alone time I can get to mentally prepare for it.

In. Out. Deep breaths always help to calm my mind. In. Out. Once Donavan's back, we'll have all the boys. Just like old times.

I rest my chin on my knees and study my surroundings. There's the circle driveway with its wrought iron gates at the end and fountain in the middle. Flowers bloom around the base of the stone fountain, adding splashes of color to the landscape.

On the sides of the driveway are tall trees--maples--and dogwood branches spill through gaps in the iron fence. In the spring, the trees scatter their white and pink petals across the road and driveway.

A yawn slips out. I haven't been waiting for long, yet my eyelids are already drooping. I need something to do. I refuse to fall asleep before Donavan arrives and miss seeing him. Not when I've waited so long already, suffering through countless stories of concerts and filming and road trips. Well, maybe not suffering exactly, but close enough.

". . .outside, probably." I hear Josiah's voice and then the door opening behind me. "Asleep already?"

"I wish." I stretch my legs as Josiah drops next to me. "I'm trying not to fall asleep before he gets here."

"Good plan." Josiah nods. "How's it coming for ya?"

"Badly," I admit, scrunching up my nose. "I didn't sleep much last night." Actually, I didn't sleep at all. But that's beside the point.

"Nightmares?" he asks.

Startled, I widen my eyes. "What?"

"Nightmares," he repeats, sounding less sure of himself. "Do you still get them?"

"Oh." I look down at my socks and tug the left one higher. "Yeah."

"Hey, it's okay. Nightmares are normal," Josiah assures me, scooting closer. "Everyone gets them."

Not every night. Not like this. "I guess." I scratch my shin and crane my neck to see the moon. It's poking out from behind a cloud as if hiding. "When do you think the stars will come out?"

"Aw, come on." Josiah's voice is soft, his new accent adding a layer of gentleness. For some reason, this makes me want to cry. I can't, though. I know because I've tried. "Don't change the subject, love."

"New nickname," I manage.

He shrugs. "Something I picked up, I suppose. Now be honest. How bad are they?"

"The nightmares? Not too bad," I lie. "They're dreams, really, not nightmares. Not scary or anything like that." Yeah. Not scary, just painful.

"For an actress, you're a pretty awful liar," he comments, leaning back and regarding me with a wry smile.

"I'm not lying, so I don't know where you got that from." I examine my nails, flicking an invisible speck off of one.

"Come off it already, Sav," Josiah says impatiently. "It's bad, isn't it? Worse than ever I'll expect."

"I don't know," I say in a small voice. "Maybe."