The Brainiac (Book One in the Meta Sequence)

Chapter Four: Holding Out

        I pushed Natalie off me in irritation, nose crinkled. "Seriously? 'Your whole life has been a lie?'"

        "Well, yeah..."

        Shaking my head as I dusted myself off, I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that just a little melodramatic? I mean, seriously, Nat."

        Natalie shrugged. "Well, don't you feel like that?"

        "Like what?"

        "Like your whole life's been a lie?"

        I bit down on my lip, averting my gaze. Well, yeah. Of course I did. But that didn't mean voicing it didn't sound excessive. I shook my head. "Not really. It's not like I ever asked."

        "Suuuuure." Natalie paused, frowning at me slightly. "Aren't you going to react? I was looking forward to you going crazy."

        I thought about that assumption. Well, it wasn't too far off. I kind of was freaking out on the inside, but by habit didn't show it outwardly. I knew I probably appeared as an accepting robot to Natalie, but honestly, I couldn't summon much of a physical reaction. Mental reaction on the other hand? That I can do. My mind was swimming, struggling to put the pieces together and register this new information. In retrospect, after the conversation I overheard between my parents, I should've seen this coming. Maybe I wasn't expecting to find validation on my own -- or with the help of my bubbly new neighbor, for that matter -- but all the same, I should've been mentally prepared. Or not. My mind couldn't seem to agree with itself on anything.

        And then there was the sheer weight of knowing just who my parents were. Mind, I suppose it didn't change their personality, my knowing, but I could tell already that it would change the way I looked at their Meta selves. I had looked up to Compulse for so long, and now I find out she was the woman who gave birth to me. It's more than a little unsettling to be learning the fact this late in life. At age eight? That might be a little more bearable. But at age fourteen? Um, sorry, but there is no way it could be considered a good idea to keep it from me that long. Didn't I deserve to know the truth?

        Suddenly, I was angry. It wasn't fair for my parents to hide this from me, the fact that they weren't normal. And, come to think of it, I was probably just as abnormal as they were, like Dad had said that night in the car. Of course having a flawless memory bank wasn't normal! Of course being such a excessively lucid dreamer wasn't normal! Of course waking up floating wasn't normal!

        My heart pounded in my chest as I ran that statement through my head repetitively. Wait... When had I decided I had actually been floating? Naturally, I pretty much tried to push it off as an effect of my dream, so why did it surface in such a manner now? Maybe what you've learned has changed your perspective, a little voice piped up in the back of my head. Natalie was still watching my, no doubt waiting for a reaction. I exhaled steadily and looked at her.

        "I'm going home."

        "But why?" Natalie almost looked hurt. "You don't have to leave."        

        Wrapping my arms around myself, I tried to smile in her direction but failed. Finally I settled for an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Natalie, but I think I need some time to myself right now. It's not your fault."

        "Of course it's my fault," Natalie pouted. "I shouldn't have questioned you early, should I?"

        I sighed. "No, I'm glad you did. But this is a lot to take in right now. I need some time for it all to sink in."