My Last Dive [Made in Abyss Fanfiction]

30| A Place in Memory

With each week that had passed, I grew more confident with my cane. While I didn't want to get my hopes up too high, I felt the parts of me I'd buried for months again try to shine through and see the good. Hopefully I could afford to actually go outside soon, even if it was just for a short while. I'd take anything at this rate.

Of course, not much else improved about me. It really was the support of everyone else—but mainly Aedia—that kept my feet beneath me, that reassured me I wasn't going crazy.

Aedia... I couldn't stand her having to do everything still, and I couldn't stand how much I wanted her to be near me. It was like she could slip away from me at any moment, even though she was stronger than I'd seen her in years. It still astounded me how far she'd come from that sickly little girl who wanted to do so much, but her body wouldn't let her while I was the opposite. The tables had seemed to turn in this manner, as well.

After a few weeks of begging, Aedia had begun to let me help around the house more. I could easily carry a stack of plates in one hand when she would need two, so long as I managed to balance correctly. I'd only broken two plates in the time I did this, much better than we were both expecting. Of course Aedia would pick up the pieces while I apologized.

I wished I could help her cook as well, but a problem I hadn't realized before presented itself the moment she tried to hand me a knife to try and cut something. When the blade neared my hand as Aedia placed it down on the counter for me to take, I nearly recoiled. I couldn't stand to have it anywhere near me, let alone bring myself to hold it. This wasn't a dinner knife, it was a large, sharp thing used for cutting and slicing. I swore I could feel a blade piercing my arm and side again when I looked at it. And that was when I truly began to become angry.

"Are there any medications that could help me forget?" I asked, and that obviously confused Aedia.

"What're you talking about?" she questioned.

My eyes narrowed as I took a breath. "You don't see the issue? I can't even pick up a damn kitchen knife without remembering that day," I said, trying not to spit the words.

"Well, you never liked cooking much anyways," she tried to joke awkwardly, but I was in no mood to do so as well.

"That's not the point. I wasn't afraid of sharp things after the Talpiclor, and now I am?" I glared at the scar on my arm, the one that had been left over from when I was stabbed. "I try to function normally, but I can't. No matter what I try to do, everything just comes back to ruin it. Th-that day, all these days. I want to forget them. If I did, perhaps that could stop the nightmares, and everything else."

Of course, Aedia began to look concerned for me. "You know no medication like that exists, you've been reading those journals."

"Then have you or Llyr discovered any plants that could help me forget?" I asked.