My Last Dive [Made in Abyss Fanfiction]

32| Fallacies

One thing I could say about my time delving was that I never expected to come home every day smelling like spices. But when I started working at Morgan's, I apparently smelled like ten different spices once I got home. It was even worse when a new batch had just been prepared, and the scent was borderline overwhelming. I never knew I could dislike the scent of cinnamon until the day I was bringing in stock after Llyr's father and aunt just finished grinding up a new batch of some cinnamon and nutmeg combination. I reeked of the stuff by the time I got out of there.

At the very least, I was glad I could do something else besides just sit inside all day. While I was worried about toppling myself constantly because I often didn't use my cane, I just told myself that I wouldn't need to use it eventually. I needed some kind of drive and incentive, after all, and that incentive came up every time I saw Llyr. The rim, we needed to go up to the rim and look out over the ocean. The smell of sea salt didn't even make me feel as queasy as it used to thanks to being exposed to it at the shop, so all that held me back was my own strength.

Really, besides wanting to make Llyr happy, I had no reason why I wanted to go up to the rim so badly. All I could think of was that it was some kind of new goal. Getting a prosthetic, learning to walk, continue walking, and then... I didn't have anything else. Artistry, perhaps. I could pursue art further since I'd truly come to love it since I took up drawing again. But even then... A world of amazing landscapes to draw were mere steps away from my home. Even teasing the thought made me want to smack the side of my head, and I did so.

One day, I decided to splurge a little and buy myself a new sketchbook. It used up the little I'd managed to save up, but I wanted a clean slate for all the drawings I wanted to try and do. Although I was tempted to already start sketching in it, I returned to my previous sketchbooks for doodles. I wanted my first drawing in it to be of the ocean from the rim. It was a nicer sketchbook than the kinds I usually bought, and I couldn't help but bring it up to Llyr during one of our meet-ups.

"You want a clean slate? Is that it?" Llyr asked, and I nodded.

"Is that a strange thing to do? I know I should be saving money by just finishing up my last one, but I also don't want to. I can't take back this sketchbook anyways, so I'm stuck with it regardless."

Llyr shook his head. "I get that feeling too, don't worry. Just make sure you don't throw your other sketchbooks away though." I gave him a look, and he winced. "Really, don't throw them away, Len. Even if you want to, it's good to see where you first started out and how far you've come. Also... those drawings have memories. At least, for me they would." His face flushed a little as he met my gaze, twirling a few strands of hair around his index finger. "The drawings I tried to do of you and the ones I did when we first started drawing together are basically treasures to me."

"Why are you embarrassed about that? It's cute that you want to remember that time, a... much better time." I went silent for a moment, though I quickly tried to break that silence. "Did I ever tell you why I wanted to become an explorer in the first place? Not just a Delver, an explorer in general."