I English Assignment I did and fell in love with

Poem: Whats the point of life.

Are you living or are you alive.

I ask myself this alot.

Because every day is a repeat of yesterday and tomorrow.

yesterday feels like a month ago.

And 2 weeks ago feels like a century ago.

So how am I living? How could I possibly be living.

Theres no fun in life.

So far it just feels like a weight of crushing stress that I tolerable,

But for what?

To get rid of the weight crushing me just to deadlift a set a few rows down.

To work and work repeating everyday to drain the payoff for this life.

This life I'm not even living. 

The life that is the same day over and over.

The day where the only thing that changes it the date.

How am I living? How could I possibly be living?

I was told that living was supposed to be fun.

I was told that life is beautiful.

But what's the beauty in repetition.

What's the beauty in this day I keep living.

What's the beauty of stress that's piled to the skylines.

What's the beauty in paying for essential things.

What's the beauty in this live that I didnt ask to live.

What's the beauty in this?

How am I living. How could i possibly be living?

When living is supposed to be carefree and beautiful.

And I'm so worrisome and tired.

When I'm living for others.

I'm living to satisfy others. Whether it be with my company or my accomplishments.

And everyday there expectations get higher and higher.

And I'm living in a never ending loop that doesnt stop.

The same day over and over again in a constant cycle that I cant stop.

So how am I suppose to satisfy when I cant even satisfy myself.

Because the only comforting thoughts are thoughts of bullets in my head.

The thought of sleeping and never waking up. 

The thoughts of live ending. Because life isnt beautiful.

And I'm not living.

I'm just alive.