Changes // Toni Shalifoe (DISCONTINUED)

1:15

Day 12

Leah

"After Emma's breakdown we all sorta started to... I don't know click, I guess. We weren't friends, but we were finally an 'us'. We laid out rules. We each had tasks. It sounds lame but it didn't feel that way. The rules were fair and the tasks were shared, and we were each entitled to one rest day because it was brutal out there and we each needed time to mellow our thoughts. Everybody except me. Ever since Jeanette's body went missing everything about the island just felt off again. Things got dark in my head."

~~~

I got tasked with keeping the fire going with Fatin, which is something I'm not mad about since any task I have with Fatin is more just like a gossip session, "You seem better," Fatin comments while I blow some oxygen into the fire, "You know, you really scared me before,"

"Yeah I just... got some shit out that I've been repressing for a while. I never really gave myself time to feel anything for a while,"

"And how's that going? The feelings shit,"

I shrug, "They're there. And I'm dealing with it," I smile at her which she returns.

"Well I've definitely seen some feelings come out," I raise my eyebrow at her, "with a miss Toni," She nods and I turn around to look and see Toni carrying water with Nora. I unconsciously smile at her before turning back towards Fatin whose smirking at me.

"I don't know what you're talking about,"

"Oh, yeah. Bullshit," I let my smile drop at bit, which Fatin notices, "Look I don't know what happened with you and... your ex. And I don't know what it's like to grieve someone like that. And having to grieve your twin on top it... but don't give up something good because one thing is gone. You can be happy," I nod at Fatin with a smile. She takes over throwing some kindle into the fire and I turn back to where Toni is. She looks up and catches my gaze, throwing me a quick smile before going back to helping Nora.

"Hey party people!" I hear Rachel yell at the top of the hill. I turn to her with furrowed eyebrows, "Who's ready to fucking feast?" She holds up a brown bag before coming down to all of us. We all start to sit around the fire to feast on the mussels Rachel found. I stay next to Fatin and have Shelby sit on my other side.

"Fucking protein," Toni mutters after having a mussel. I nod in agreement while slurping on my own.

"You know I can already feel my health meter coming back up to 100," Dot announces.

"You true fucking geek, please tell me that wasn't a gaming reference," Fatin says.

"Oh it was," I says, "Ethan was the fucking worst at that. I used to wake up at 2am to him shouting at his fucking computer screen," I chuckle. Fatin gives me a slight nudge with a smile.

"I know these are little animals and all, but they're so good and I can't stop eating them. What is wrong with me?"

"You should give yourself a pass," Nora says, "You know, like, for invertebrates,"

"And starvation situations," Leah says. A few nod in agreement.

"You not eating any mussels, Shelby?" Martha asks the girl beside me who isn't feasting like the rest of us.

"Mm, no, no. I'm good,"

"Why not?" Leah questions her quickly. Accusation clear in her voice for no real reason.

"Oh, I'm beyond allergic. I had a single popcorn shrimp at my cousin's birthday party. My windpipe shut out like a trap,"

"Well you're missing out," Fatin speaks up, "I mean, ideally these would be eaten with garlic butter and crispy fries on a terrance in Barcelona but this will do. Salut," I look at Fatin chuckling before slurping back another mussel.