Never Trust Secrets | Kavi

~ 1 ~

Kirstie walked through the front door of her apartment building into the bright sunlight. It was only late March, but the sun had begun to show more and more during the days. She smiled, turned her face towards the sky and closed her eyes. Things were finally starting to look brighter for her since her messy breakup with Jeremy last December. She had went through a rough patch early in the year and Scott, Mitch and Kevin's help and support had been irreplacable. She was lucky to have the best band in the universe.

She felt a pang of sadness at the thought. Only if the whole band were as close as they were a few years ago. She had been distant with Avi ever since she started dating Jeremy almost two years ago. She suspected Avi may have had feelings for her back then and she would be lying if she said she wouldn't have thought the same about him, but neither of them had ever talked about it, and then Jeremy had come into the picture. Avi had started seeing Laurel not long after that and then she had cut all ties to him.

Kirstie told herself that it was for the best since Jeremy had felt incredibly jealous of their close bond. Looking back, she should've seen the red flags sooner. A boyfriend shouldn't be the one to decide who she chose to spend her time with. Don't get her wrong, he never laid a finger on her or anything, it just didn't work out in the end. She obviously had abandoned one of her best friends for someone she didn't even love.

Her guilt and shame at this realization had only grew as time passed but she was too much of a coward to do anything about it. Avi seemed happy enough with Laurel. Without Kirstie in his life, that is.

But then there were times when Kirstie would turn her eyes to Avi while laughing about something with the group to see if he found it funny as well only to see him staring into space with empty eyes. Sometimes he'd disappear for hours and return more quiet and jumpy than usual. He'd come to rehearshal avoiding everyone's eyes with a bandaged hand or a bruise on his chin. He never talked about his girlfriend anymore and she swore she saw a flash of anxiety in his eyes when Scott asked him to bring her to a dinner. There was something going on which Kirstie couldn't quite wrap her finger around. But she and Avi didn't talk, not since Jeremy, and it wasn't her place to confront him about it. Right?

She missed her best friend, sometimes so much it hurt, but she didn't know how to even begin to start building that friendship again. She had grabbed her phone too many times and searched for Avi's number, which she never deleted, but hadn't pressed the call button. On the night of new year's Eve however, she had felt the loneliest in a long time and had called him in a desperate attempt of hearing his voice. She had called, for him to answer on the tenth ring with a low "Hello?" and "Who's this?". He had indeed deleted her number and she had heard him repeat the question a few times before hanging up, as she had sobbed violently into her pillow to muffle the sound.

Not her proudest moment, she thought back to that night. Now she was glad he hadn't, at least Kirstie thought he hadn't, known who had called him at 11:30PM on New Year's Eve. She had probably interrupted his and Laurel's precious alone time and the thought of what he may have been doing with her made her sick to her stomach. She had cried even harder after that, feeling completely, utterly alone. And it was all her fault.

Now she felt like she could take a deep breath for the first time in a long time. As much of a cliche it was, time really does heal. But that didn't mean she hadn't been longing for the feeling of his arms around her or watching him sleep peacefully in tour bus in the bunk opposite to her on those rare times he forgot to close the curtain. Because apparently she was that creepy person who liked to watch people sleep. Kirstie had to settle to listen to his voice in "Sweet Adeline" and "Quarter Past Four". The first two songs of his solo EP that he had released some months ago.