Garden Of Eden

Chapter 3: The First Day

Ryder pov

First day jitters, more like my anxiety shooting through the roof. I've already been here for a week, and still I find it hard to even face strangers again. I should have the confidence an incubus would be proud of, but f*ck if I can't seem to find it. I know I had told y/n that I would be fine and could help out, now, however, I just want to curl up into a ball.

It doesn't help with how hungry I am for some sexual energy, but at the same time the thought of that makes me sick. If I can't get over my past, how will I survive? My way of survival, screwed up because of all the bullsh*t I had to endure.

I am such a mess.

I am a failure to my kind.

An embarrassment.

Pathetic.

I should just-

A soft knock to my door breaks me of my thought. I glance to the wooden structure that keeps me and the one standing outside of it separated. The sight of it is blurry and it is then that I realize that I was crying.

"Ryder? Are you in there?" a sweet voice calls, muffled by the door. Y/n is standing outside my room.

I quickly wipe my eyes and clear my face. There is no need for her to worry about me, she is already busy with other pressing things anyway, I'm sure. I take a few deep breaths to calm down and keep myself from panicking, but it wasn't working. I could feel a panic attack creeping up, and it was difficult to catch my breath.

Another knock came from the door. I almost forgot y/n is out there. I just need another moment to try to get myself under control.

"Yeah, give me a moment!" I give a quick shout to her. I focus back on my breathing, but I am still not calming down.

I decided to just quickly see what she wants and then have her leave, maybe once y/n is gone, it will be easier to mellow out.

I walk to the door and crack it open just a bit. My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I see the outfit she is wearing. I couldn't catch my breath before, I was suffocating now. She looks so beautiful in the modest, yet sexy cocktail dress.

It's a long, one shoulder strap, dark purple dress. There is a slit that comes from the bottom of the dress and runs all the way up to just above the knee. I was in such a conflicting state of hunger, sickness, and panic.

"Ryder? Are you alright? You look a little pale." I hear y/n ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just getting ready to work." I say and close my door, or a least try too. I look back at her e/c orbs and see the worry they hold.

Her eyes tell me everything I need to know, the perks of being an incubus. Eyes are a window to the soul and being able to tell what your prey feels and how to correct it helps a bunch when looking for a meal.

"Are you sure you want to take on your problems alone? If you let me, I would love to try and help."

I hesitate for a moment. Every minute, it gets harder to catch my breath and I just want to be alone. In any case, y/n's presence will probably just make it worse.

"Nah, I'll be good." I try and convince her to go. I think it finally worked when I gave her a pleading look to go. She looks down in dejection for a moment before handing me a pill bottle.

'What is-"

"I know someone who helps the non-human population, kind of like a doctor for your kind. I go to him for when we need some medical supplies or medication." Y/n explains as I examine the bottle a little more. She clears her throat and continues.