Only Angel [h.s]

𝟭𝟲 - 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆

I'm sorry for the things I said
I wasn't thinking with my head
Look into my eyes and tell me we're all right
Please, don't leave me alone tonight

[Sorry
Jess Benko]

—————

"Where the fuck have you been?" I ask her somewhat harshly as she looks around the room with a confused frown on her pretty face.

I've been sitting here for a few hours waiting for to return back, I was fucking worried sick but I know it was my fault. The only good thing I got out of it was working on some new music. I suppose todays events have inspired something and not to be narcissistic but I think it was a beautiful one, well as beautiful as it can be when all I had was my notes app and a piano app that cost me about five bucks.

"B-bar" She hiccups, closing the door behind her as she fully enters the room. Great, so she's drunk.

"And what about you mister" Her eyes widen as she points at me, stumbling forward "I was told that you were going back to New York f-for work, which I know was a lie" She narrows her eyes slightly, poking my in the chest when she's close enough.

Fair enough, that was a bit of a dick thing to and I was actually going to just leave, that was until I came back to the hotel and saw her rose ring sitting on the bathroom counter, I figured she took it off to wash her hands and just forgot to put it on. I don't know why that was the thing that made me upset when the realisation of what exactly i've been doing hit me.

"I mean I heard that from Zayn and y'know what I did? Nearly fuckin' cried in my car until I realised that I needed to get drunk, so I did" She slurs slightly, giggling and booping my nose.

Despite her sort of cheerful demeanour I know better than that, I know she's upset by what i've did and I don't blame her, I should have fuckin' said something back at the hospital but I just couldn't.

Before I can even stop myself I speak "M'sorry baby"

She seems to finally realise what's going on when she pulls back from me and I can see now that her bubbly-ness has turned into anger and sadness "Don't — Don't call me baby again, not after everything you did" She mumbles, pacing around the room.

Fuck, I know things between us have been off, more specifically in the last 24 hours but I didn't think lying to her about this would hurt so much and I didn't think hearing her say that would hurt.

I would love nothing more than to have this conversation when she's sober but for all I know when she wakes up tomorrow she'll want me gone so the selfish part of me wants to take this opportunity, I feel like I would be taking advantage of her as shes more honest when she's drunk but regardless I need to get this out and I need to explain as best as I can.

"Just let me explain" I nearly beg but when I say that I see Natalies demeanour completely change again . . . She looks defeated and completely drained. I can't help but think of the whole part i'm playing in this.