twenty-five

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Tiptoeing was Tanya's new favorite gait. Saturday, after Jon had snapped at her, she refused to sit by me anymore. She sat at the back of the gallery while I took my notes. I was unsure if I was upset she was leaving me be or somewhat glad. It felt wrong to be happy she was gone, but that weight of her possibly trying to cause an affair was finally gone. Of course, I wouldn't give into her efforts, but, now, the threat had vanished entirely. Again, I was left to my silence and the gossips behind me, who hadn't been chattering recently, about me least.

After all the drama and frustration, all I wanted was to feel nothing. No more heartstring pulling and headaches, just nothing. I kept especially quiet the following days, just to keep myself under the radar and out of harm's way. I saw that Jon recognized my morose nature those few days, but he wasn't trying to pull me from my slump. He knew it was best to let me suffer through this on my own, seeing as I could only pull myself out.

My sullen days were few, though, because Monday morning we were leaving for Georgia. Tanya had asked Jon, rather timidly, if he wanted to go on the trip and he, of course, said yes. With her being awfully wary, she rarely had meaningful conversations with him unless they pertained to his job. When Jon told me about how he was coming with, I was initially nervous to have to be in close proximity to her, but he assured me (constantly) that it would all be okay. He was right, nothing would happen. Everything would be fine.

Sunday morning, I laid on the couch while I waited for Jon to get back from his run. I scrolled tiredly through Twitter, hoping to ease some of the boredom I had from waiting. Some days, he was only gone for 30 minutes, others two hours, but he never woke me before he left so I would never know. Once he was gone, though, I almost immediately woke up like my soul knew he had left. The apartment was so cold with him gone.

I found myself helplessly looking at Jon's old tweets, recalling how he always asked for my approval before posting them. Mostly, it was politics (of course), but I would occasionally stumble upon tweets about me, some I had never seen before.

@Ossoff
We had a very long night in the chambers voting for the people and we weren't allowed a dinner break. Up in the gallery, however, @(Twitter handle) teased me relentlessly with their gourmet Capitol meal. [image attached]

Ah, I recalled that late night all too well, embarrassingly. The texts messages were still saved on my phone for me to look back at later and think about how silly we were. I figured there was no harm in keeping them, even if they were horribly suggestive. The picture attached was the one he had taken of me with my to-go box held in the air with a victorious grin.

@Ossoff
I am really loving the snow flurries first thing in the morning.

I checked the time-stamp, remembering that day fairly well. Jon and I had walked across the yard at the Capitol, but I stopped him before we walked in, picking at the snowflakes in his hair so he could look sharp. He kept telling me that they would melt, but I really just wanted to run my hands through his hair while poorly melting the flakes beneath my fingertips. As my hands did divide his locks, a pleased smile grew across his lips. His eyes were glued to my focused expression as I felt the soft strands beneath my frigid hands.

Then, I found myself on the tweet from when we announced our engagement. It had thousands of comments, retweets, and likes in response, making me warm with glee.

You make it all possible.

I read over the comments, seeing everyone so incredibly happy for us. My teeth clung to my lower lip as I carefully read over each of them. It reimbursed me with the initial glee of being engaged to Jon, reminding me how happy I was with him.

omg this is so cute 🥺

I love them

So happy for you two!

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