⑤⑥ Surviving, Living

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The door to the bedroom slowly creaked open.

Jeongin shifted in the warm sheets, pulling the blanket over his shoulder even more as the light from outside peaked into the darkened room. He had half the will to yell at the person invading his perfect bubble of impenetrable darkness and doom, but the better half of himself kept the sheets tangled around his limbs and his eyes squeezed shut as sleep evaded him. Maybe if he poisoned himself, he'd be able to get a decent night of sleep. No, too dangerous. Maybe if he asked Chan to hit him really hard, he could get a decent night of sleep. Though, knowing the older, he would never agree to that scheme. As much as both of them needed it.

A weight depressed the edge of the bed by Jeongin's hips, the younger struggling to keep his eyes closed and demanding to sleep. Like an echo, a ghost of a chance, fingertips brushed along his cheekbone as if they were guiding lines that kept them grounded in this world. Grounded from whatever else may blow them off their intended course. They danced on his skin, hesitating over the barely visible mark his mom left him, before settling on the bed behind Jeongin's shoulders.

Lips pressed against his temple. That touch, that contact, it was so gentle, so delicate. It was once so sure if itself, but now it felt heavy with a regret. A desire. It was one he often reflected in his mirror image, yet never had the will or want to pursue something so dangerous. Like the fangs of a cobra staring back at him, or the eyes of hyenas circling him and waiting for the right time to scavenge everything he had left to offer. It was almost humorous to him, that he too owned those eyes. He was sure that if he wasn't careful, he would easily be consumed by what that feeling was.

As if echoing his thoughts, the lips glided along his skin, leaving soft kisses on his jaw and neck as if they were coated with their own sweet taste. He let his hands curl tighter around the bedsheets.

Tentatively, and almost tantalizingly, those lips eventually found themselves at Jeongin's ear and whispered, "Know you're awake."

"Damn," Jeongin let his eyes drift open, being met with the sight of an amused Chan coming to brace himself up off the bed. The younger rolled on to his back, arm flinging over his eyes in a miserable fashion that hopefully told his company how desperate he was for a bit of sleep, "I was hoping you'd keep going."

"Not when you're trying to sleep," The older responded as his arm buckled and he collapsed against his songbird's chest, head thumping against where his heart gently coddled them into a comforting rhythm. A heavy sigh deflated Chan as he nearly crushed Jeongin under his weight, only taking a moment to press a light kiss to his chest before easing back into their position.

For someone who kept an aura of strength about him, this air of enigmatic grandeur that was unrivaled even in the best of situations, he seemed small in that moment. As if the armor he built up for himself finally shed, making away for a familiar touch that offered him an affection that blockade deprived him of. Knowing that he was finally comfortable enough to return even a bit of that affection, it swelled Jeongin's chest with a feeling that could overwhelm him. For someone who was always at the top, someone who always had the answers, someone who was considered strong, it must be lonely at times.

He would know that. Of all the days he spent confined in his room, crumbling in this cruel world without a taste of salvation because he was supposed to be the perfect child. Perfect grades. Perfect face. Perfect. Left foot, right foot, marching forward to the edge till dying to his demons was a privilege. That world seemed so far away now. Or, not far. It was still here in this room, in another form, waiting for it's moment to tighten it's grip to toss them both over.

Changbin was right about one thing. They really did need to realize how much they became shredded in this inescapable pit called 'Hell' that blocked out the sun and turned the city to a downpour of ash.

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