Spencer Reid one shots

I'm struggling (Spencer x team)

This isn't a Spencer x Reader one shot, this is what I can imagine how Spencer dealt with sobering up from Dilaudid

TRIGGER WARNING: Drug addiction, withdrawal symptoms, depression, nightmares, PTSD, talk of drugs.

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Googles explanation of:

'Hitting rock bottom'
A phrase that almost everyone has heard when talking about the topic of addiction... Generally, rock bottom refers to a time or an event in life that causes an addict to reach the lowest possible point in their disease. It is a time when the person feels like things cannot get worse for them

For Spencer Reid hitting rock bottom was when he let his team down on a case in New Orleans, he disappointed the people he loved the most. He disappointed the people who relied on him, and what made it worse was they weren't even angry at him. Hotch didn't shout at him, Derek didn't give him an aggressive chat about how he needed to get his life together. Spencer received nothing like that, perhaps that was the worst part of it, because he felt like he deserved it. He felt like he should get told off.

"I'm struggling" Was all Spencer could say to Gideon. His addiction was beginning to get out of hand, he knew if he didn't get clean sooner or later he would lose everything, maybe even his life. He didn't want his friends to find him dead in his bathroom, he had survived Tobias Hankel he wasn't going to die from the same drugs Tobias injected him with.

When the team got back to the BAU from New Orleans, they all did their reports and when Spencer was finished he took it to Hotch.

"Thank you Spencer, have a good evening, I'll see you tomorrow" Hotch said looking up from his paperwork, Spencer nodded and turned to the door. However instead of opening it, he paused and turned back to his boss.
"A-Actually can I talk to you?"

"Of course, is everything ok?" Hotch asked, even though he was fully aware that Spencer was not ok.

"yeah- n-no actually... I-I need some time off" Spencer requested

"May I ask why?" Hotch questioned, he hoped Spencer would open up to him about his problem

"I-I know it's been three months since the Tobias Hankel case, a-and I know I told you I was ok, a-and that's why I c-came back to work straight away and I-I think I wanted to believe I was ok, but I'm not a-and I need to deal with it before it kills me"

There was a silence, Hotch looked at the young agent sympathetically, a small smile tugged on the corner of his lips. Although Spencer didn't say 'I need to get clean from Narcotics' his answer to Hotch's question was more than satisfactory for Hotch.

"Of course, how long do you think you'll need?"

"Uh- t-two weeks i-if that's ok, b-but I-I can p-probably c-come back sooner i-if you need me too, just n-not too soon" Spencer mused

"That's fine" Hotch told him, Spencer gave him a small smile and walked back towards the door, but once again he stopped

"A-and sir" Spencer added, Hotch looked up from his work again at the young genius
"I-I'm sorry, I feel like I let you down on this case, I won't do that again"

"Spencer you didn't let me down. I know you're struggling, I know you... you wanted to pretend that everything was ok, but I knew you weren't... What you went through with Hankel, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and I'm so sorry that you went through that... I'm so sorry that you had to save yourself... and I don't think you get told his enough, but... I'm really proud of you" Hotch paused before continuing, a tear rolled down Spencers cheek.
"I'm genuinely so proud of you... You're not alone Spencer, the whole team loves you and it's ok to need help sometimes, so please don't be afraid to call, or at least text me everyday letting me know you're ok, if you don't I will come over to your apartment and kick down your door, do you understand?"