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( 02 一 BLISSFUL PEACE. )
tw: panic attack
The white noise, or Calm Control as the PSF's called it, that was blaring in Clara's ear was deafening. She dropped to the ground with the other girls as they tried to drive the sound out of their minds. Clara could feel something knock into her elbow but she couldn't keep her eyes open long enough to see what it was, the noise was that excruciating.
You would think that after having your brain dug through like a hand looking for spare change you would have a higher pain tolerance but apparently not. If anything Clara took it worse, like her brain was more sensitive to the effects of white noise, Ruby too but Clara couldn't figure out why. It could be something about being an Orange but that wouldn't explain Ruby's reaction.
But slowly, slowly, Clara faded into the blissful peace of unconsciousness. The white noise faded as did everything else.
❊❊❊
Trips to the infirmary were never pleasant for Clara, considering her history with the place. Everywhere she looked she could see what used to be in its place. So waking up strapped to a bed in a room that reeked of lemon disinfectant certainly wasn't pleasant.
Clara tried to get air into her lungs, breathing in and out and in and out but her lungs remained empty. She could hear her heartbeat thundering in her ears, a crushing weight sitting on her chest. She started trembling from the effort of trying to breathe as a woman in a pristine lab coat walked over. Clara could feel a tear drip down her cheek at the sight. The white coat, reminiscent of the ones the scientists wore.
They had fingered it out, Clara knew they had. They figured it out and they brought her back.
Clara felt like someone had placed a pillow over her face and was attempting to suffocate her. The woman had finally realised what was happening as she looked up from the board she previously had her eyes trained on. She stood and walked over, sitting far closer than what was expected considering Clara was a dangerous freak in her eyes. She reached out to brush her hands against Clara's arms in a sign of comfort but could tell that would only make things worse and pulled her arms back awkwardly.
Going for another approach the woman started talking in soothing tones. "It's okay Clarissa, no one is going to hurt you," she whispered just loud enough for Clara to hear. Clara almost laughed at her words. Thurmond was filled to the brim with people who wanted to hurt her, kill her.
"I'm going to release you from the restraints okay?" The woman said. No one had ever done that. In Clara's three visits to the infirmary she had never been released for her restraints during her entire stay.
Soon her hands and legs were free and her breathing slowed. Full breathes filling her chest.
When the doctor, who was named Dr. Begbie, realised Clara had calmed down, started questioning her about the white noise. Clara knew better than to look up at her or speak above a mumble. As Clara stared at her hands she heard a beeping noise coming from beside her. She risked a look and saw a heart monitor. She remembered watching a show about a hospital with her mom and brother as a child, and they had their patients hooked up to one. If Clara was hooked up to a monitor the white noise must have been worse than she thought. She wondered how Ruby took it.
As Dr. Begbie left she placed Clara's medical report on her bed. Clara knew it was a risk but she wanted to see if there was anything on the chart to explain her reaction to white noise. If it was the experiments, her being an Orange or something else entirely.
There were a lot of charts and graphs that Clara couldn't understand until she reached the last page. There was a bright pink sticky note with messy cursive handwriting attached to the paper.
New CC was testing for undetected Ys, Os, Rs. They know you aren't G. They will kill you if you don't do as I say. I can get you out. Wait until tonight, take the shot I left under your blanket and inject it. From there we will be able to extract you. We're able to extract Ruby as well. Destroy this.
The only thought running through Clara's head was that they knew. They knew she wasn't Green and she was in danger. She then thought of Ruby, how she could fit into this but that was too much for her to try and wrap her head around. She searched for the needle and felt the nub of plastic protecting the tip push against her hand.
This could be her chance. Her chance to save herself, to survive. Staying at Thurmond would be a death sentence. And if it was all a nasty trick, well Clara wouldn't exactly be missing much. Ruby was going too, that meant Clara would. Clara would follow that girl anywhere.
So she waited until the bright infirmary light dulled to the orangey glow they held at night before slowly reaching under the blanket. Her hand wrapped around the cold plastic of the syringe, pulling off the protective covering before pushing the needle into the crook of her elbow, where the scientists placed all their needles.
Some kind of sedative must have been in the syringe because Clara felt drowsy almost immediately. Her eyes felt heavy and only when she couldn't will them open any longer did she succumb to the depths of sleep.
