Shrek x Ronald McDonald

Wedding Day

Shrek and Ronald were finally able to rest.

With Shadow now out of the question, the couple found themselves feeling happy, especially with each other, once again. The burden that plagued their lives for those long years were lifted, leaving them to fulfill ten more. 

It was joyous, this feeling. It was freeing. They finally felt like themselves.

The two lovers laid beside each other, nestled in their covers, feeling the peace they knew they deserved. Shrek was fast asleep, his loud snores echoing throughout the room. 

But Ronald was now awake. 

Drowsy, yes. But awake.

 Supposedly, all his problems were gone, but something was still keeping him up. Keeping him from fully enjoying everything, because something was missing. He pulled a spare mccigarette from the bedside table and lit it.

What was it? He should've been happy. Ronald may have not been perfect, but he'd be a liar if he was to say that Shrek wasn't the most perfect, lovable man he ever had laid his eyes on.

He took a drag of the mccigarette, silently exhaling the smoke from his nose. Then the thought entered his head. 

Marriage.

That's what he wanted. Something pleasant, as a way to celebrate their happiness. But what if this wasn't what his darling Shrek wanted? Of course, if Shrek said no to Ronald's proposal he'd respect it. But that hole in his heart would still be there if that were to happen.

But, of course, it wouldn't hurt to try. Ronald already had a ring, now that he thought about it, a stale onion ring that'd fit perfectly on Shrek's thick finger.

 His face flushed at the idea, getting him so flustered that he began jerking around and coughing on the smoke surrounding him. The mccigarette dangling out his mouth moved around with him, until it slipped down into his throat. Ronald choked on it until he gained the ability to swallow it whole.

Shrek shot up from his sleeping position, worriedly eyeing Ronald. He gently silenced Shrek, and laid his hand on his. 

Ronald's heart fluttered. He was going to do this now.  There was no point in waiting, it was now or never.

Ronald grabbed the stale onion ring from the side table and slowly presented it to Shrek.

"I know right now it's-" He took a glace at the alarm clock beside him, "2:24 am. But Shrek, will you marry me?" Ronald stammered, his lip quivering.

Shrek's eyes widened in surprise, welling up with tears.

"Of course."

........................................................................................................................

(Three months later...)

The day was here.

Shrek and Ronald's wedding day.

They invited no one (Since no one was even alive anymore) but forgot a priest. So Ronald was on the phone calling up random numbers until he found a willing participant. He finally found someone,  a so called Twilight Sparkle that could fly here from Equestria in about 15 minutes. 

The wedding was taking place in an empty church parking lot,  a few dollar store balloons scattered throughout.  Red and green Christmas streamers littered every corner. A light breeze blew around Ronald's hair, which had grown out to a luscious, curly length, around the area of his mid back. 

The two stood awkwardly beside each other, waiting out those 15 minutes.  Ronald sighed contently and looked upon Shrek's beautiful forest green dress, caked with mud around the bottom.

A flit of wings was heard and Twilight arrived abruptly, shoving her way between the lovers. "Sorry," She murmured under her breath, "Let's just make this quick, I got a job to do." Shrek and Ronald nodded in response. "Will I be getting paid at all?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow. But ultimately, she was ignored.

Twilight huffed and opened her bible.  She went on some tangent about love and stuff in a deadpan tone, and then, after what felt like two hours, the well known sentences were finally about to be read aloud.

"Ronald, do you take Shrek to be your lawfully we-"

Ronald cut her off. "Yeah, yeah I do."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "And Shrek, do you-"

Once again she was cut off, but this time by the revving of a loud engine. "I OBJECT!"  An unknown voice boomed. The three looked up, and a horrified gasp escaped from Shrek's throat.

There, on a mini scooter with American rock band My Chemical Romance's lead singer Gerard Way, was a much older Shadow. His angsty glare reeked of ten years of anger that would never be healed by any therapy whatsoever.

"Dad and Dad!" Shadow growled. "Your wedding sucks!" Ronald was taken aback, and responded with the question that now echoed throughout his head; "How are you still alive?" Shadow chuckled, wringing his gloved hands. "You underestimated my abilities, Dad. And now I'm here with my beloved boyfriend, American rock band My Chemical Romance's lead singer Gerard Way, to get my well deserved revenge on the both of you suckas!"

Twilight took this as her que to leave. "Okay, bye assholes, have a good wedding. I could care less about this family drama." She took flight back to wherever in Equestria she came from.

Shrek held back tears. "How did you even find us?" He choked, grabbing Ronald's hand for safety. "Easy," Shadow replied. "It's because you posted like 50 times about it on Facebook along with your minion memes, loser." Shrek began sobbing.

Shadow climbed out of the scooter and looked back at American rock band My Chemical Romance's lead singer Gerard Way sorrowfully. "Forgive me for what I'm about to do," He whispered. Turning to Shrek and Ronald, he reached in his back pocket of his tight black skinny jeans. 

Ronald gripped tighter onto Shrek's hand, and remembered the last thing Shadow stole before he tried drowning him. But he remembered far too late. He looked at Shrek one last time, his eyes stinging with tears, and smiled. Tears were streaked down Shrek's face as he smiled back.

Shadow whipped out Ronald's mcpistol, and cocked it.