Shrek x Ronald McDonald

Love at first bite

It was a day where Shrek felt the need to come out of his beloved swamp and go somewhere for a tasty morsel. He was debating wether to go to Wendy's or McDonald's. He let his heart decide and he went to McDonald's. Shrek was thinking about how he left his swamp only to get a juicy burger, how he left donkey to drown in his dirty swamp waters. He thought past that, entering the food establishment, which emitted a yellow glow.

Ronald stood by the cashier counter, smoking his Mccigarette. He stared at the ceiling, thinking about his past love, his ex-girlfriend, Wendy. He hated her, but still felt jealous that she left him... for Burger King. Yes, he has a hot body, but what else? He has nothing but a plastered smile on his face. Ronald knew  B.K was hiding something behind that. Ronald was distracted from his thoughts  when a hot, green ogre burst through the door, mouth drooling, hungry for a moist burger. And what if, Ronald thought, he could be hungry for love? Ronald's Mccigarette dropped out of his mouth in surprise. He stepped on it, though he did want to burn down the McDonald's he was trapped in.  The ogre went to the cashier desk Ronald was nearby, and ordered at the scared cashier. "I'll have two Number 9's, a Number 9 Large, a Number 6 with extra Dip, a Number 7, Two Number 45's, one with Cheese, and a large Soda," The ogre told the cashier ( which, by the way, his name was Dave ) . Ronald stared at the ogre, adoring his soft green color, his... ears, and his wonderful nose. Ronald went up to the ogre, and asked for his name. "Shrek," he responded. "Shrek the ogre." Ronald already knew he was an ogre, but Shrek. What a beautiful name. "I have a gourmet special in the play place. Wanna come?" Ronald asked. Shrek nodded.

Ronald led Shrek into a red plastic tube, which smelled like socks. The smell of socks turned Shrek on almost immediately. "Are you ready for my special, loverboy?" Ronald teased. Shrek smirked with a casual dreamworks face. "Of course I am." Shrek started to rip Ronald's clothes off.

After Shrek and Ronald's spicy romp, Ronald lit a Mccigarette. He sat for a moment, and inhaled the smoke. He flicked his Mccigarette, but Shrek and Ronald were still inside the tube. The plastic tube started to light on fire, so Shrek and Ronald escaped from the restaurant that was about to burn down. They stood outside, watching the McDonald's burn to a crisp. Poor Dave the cashier. He was strapped to the cash register and couldn't escape his untimely fate. Dave died that day. Ronald and Shrek started to make out, with much passion, much love. They staggered into a bush, and made out for 4 more hours.