4 | hate me

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Suji~

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Suji~

I froze in spot once Taehyun and I met eyes. I didn't know it'd be this hard seeing him again. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry... I feel so small and insecure around him.

"Hi." He awkwardly waved at me, and I copied him.

"How are you?" I almost choked on my own words.

"Uhm, going well until today..." he scratched the back of his neck. "I forgot my keys inside the dorm, and Kai isn't going back home until tomorrow evening. Unless I sleep in a pc bang or book café, I'd rather stay here instead."

"Why were you with Dabin?" Junhyuk asked him, and I swear my hearing became ten times sharper.

"Oh... she saw me waiting outside my dorm room, so she invited me over." He explained carefully.

Is that his new girlfriend?

They never mentioned the Dabin person again after that, but the thought of her kept lingering in my head. I shouldn't be like this.

I let him go. I have no right to tell him when to move on and who he can like... she might be a sweetheart who actually takes care of him, unlike me.

I went back to cooking and honestly zoned out many times. They all helped in the kitchen, to make things faster.

"Hey, where's your presence of mind?" Taehyun patted my shoulder, and only then did I realize that I almost cut my fingers off with the knife. So close...

"Thanks." I blinked super fast.

Once we finished preparing dinner, we each opened a can of beer and toasted. Digging into the food wasn't a struggle at all, everyone just went for it.

"As always, Park Suji cooks the best food." Yina gave me two thumbs up, and the others agreed with her.

Taehyun seemed to hesitate a lot while eating my food. It made my stomach twist, and I mostly lost my appetite. However, I still ate so it didn't seem too off. I also drank a lot.

One sip, then a whole can... then another, another after that one, even more...

"That's your sixth can already. You need to stop now." Junhyuk seriously said, trying to take it away from me.

"Don't!" I screamed and began running around their apartment.

Am I drunk? No I'm not! I just feel dizzy and everything looks blurry... I probably just need glasses.

"Kang Taehyun?!" I went over to him and cupped his cheeks. I suddenly felt emotional and began crying super hard. "Why haven't you come home lately? I've been waiting for you everyday."

"Huh?" He stared at me with his big doe eyes. Taehyun put his hand on top of mine, indicating for me to let go.

"Why won't you let me touch you?" I blinked fast and let the tears flow down.

"I don't want you to regret it." He mumbled but I just shook my head.

"Why would I? I love you." I leaned down and kissed him.

"Don't do this." Taehyun pushed me away and left to go somewhere else.

"Why does he hate me so much?" Tears came streaming through my face, as I found comfort in Yina's arms. Her and Junhyuk just stared at me in shock.

"He doesn't." She patted my back.

__________________________

Taehyun~

I ran to the washroom and locked myself up. No... she's drunk- whatever happened doesn't mean anything.

Suji's lips that I missed so much was on mine once again, but all I felt at that moment was guilt. I don't want to violate her feelings; I don't want to complicate things any longer.

I suddenly got a call, so I picked it up without even checking out the id.

"Hey, you left your bag at my place." Dabin let me know. Her soft voice gave me some sense of comfort.

"I'll grab it tomorrow..." I uttered. "Can you stay on the phone with me for a while. I don't feel too well right now."

"Of course," she softly answered. "I would ask what's wrong, but I don't want to pressure you. Just tell me what you feel like spilling out. Take your time."

__________________________

Song: Jeon Sang Keun (전상근) — I Still love you a lot(사랑이란 멜로는 없어)

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