Damaged Goods

Chapter 4

"Well, she's at least going to consider it," TJ said over the phone to his buddy Travis.

"I mean, that's good, right?" he asked, still not sure what the best solution to TJ's problem was.

"Yeah, I think so. I don't know, I mean this whole thing is so stupid and frustrating. I can't believe my father did this to me. Could he really have been so disappointed in me? I don't get it. And what a stupid stipulation. Especially after Diane. I'm most definitely not interested in a relationship any time soon. He knew that. So it's just like ad added slap to the face on top of it all."

"Dude, Diane was in the past. Time to let that go, man" Travis responded.

He was right, but TJ still hated to hear it. He had loved Diane, wanted to spend his life with her. And even though it ended over two years ago, it still stung, and he hadn't been in a real relationship since. There had been a few fleeting 'romances' for lack of a better term, but TJ had ended them as soon as he realized that the women wanted more of a commitment than he was ready to give.

"So, is she cute?" Travis asked, bringing TJ back to the conversation.

"Who, Diane?" TJ asked confused. Travis knew Diane, and what she looked like.

"No, Dummy, Lyla. Is she cute? Anything like you remember her as kids?"

"She's beautiful, actually. Not really like what I remember her at all. Back then, she was all legs and arms, but in a clumsy way. Very shy and unsure of herself. But I never looked at her like that anyway. We were just kids."

TJ thought about it as he spoke. She really was beautiful. Nothing like what he had expected or remembered. In my mind, I think I had just pictured her from back when we were kids, but taller. He hadn't pictured the beautiful and confident woman he had met just a few hours earlier. Chocolate brown eyes that stared at him over the rim of her glasses, with just a few pieces of warm chestnut brown hair framing her face. The rest of it pulled smoothly to the back of her head. Her lean, but athletic figure well dressed in her casual blouse and slacks. TJ continued thinking about how lovely she was, but also processing the fact that he didn't really remember even looking at her or thinking about it at the time. Like his subconscious mind had picked up on the details that he was too stressed to think about in the moment.

Travis interrupted TJ's thoughts again, "So when are you going to see her again? Like to talk about it more?"

"We're going to meet tomorrow afternoon and talk through some things. I guess I'm just glad she's willing to think about it. But honestly, I haven't really clearly thought about it myself. How would this even work? I don't really think I'm relationship material anymore. And what if she's difficult to live with? And I don't like her cooking, and what if she smells bad, or isn't very nice, or..."

"TJ, snap out of it!" Travis hollered at him. "You always go down these weird rabbit trails of thought. First of all, who knows how it could work, I'm sure you can figure something out. And who says she even has to live with you? She could stay there in her city, couldn't she? As long as you're married you're meeting the terms, right?"

"That's true, I hadn't even thought about that. She wouldn't even have to move here. I guess, just thinking about getting married, I just naturally assumed she'd move in with me."

"And what else did you ask? What if you don't like her cooking? Bruh! Really? She ain't gonna be your housemaid, and haven't you heard of delivery? What do you eat now? And if she smells... well, you're on your own there, but it seems like if she's willing to marry you, and you make it worth her while, like put something in a prenup about when you get divorced, she gets a nice settlement. Hammer out a few details, and it'll just be a marriage on paper, and in two years, you cut her loose."

TJ loved Travis. While he didn't always agree with his cavalier approach to life and problem solving, Travis was definitely a great sounding board for him. They were actually nothing alike, but TJ thoughg that's part of what made their friendship so good. He brought a completely different perspective to life, than TJ had developed for himself.

*****

"Am I crazy for even thinking about this, Kate?" Lyla asked her best friend. "And thanks for coming over, I know it's late, but I really needed to talk to someone about this."

"Well, crossing the hall from my apartment to yours, is hardly out of my way" Katie said, as she smiled at Lyla warmly. "And, yeah maybe a little crazy. Why are you considering it?"

"Honestly? I'm really not sure why. He looked so... sad. And I know, that's not a good reason to marry someone. But there's definitely the extenuating circumstances on his part. I understand why he asked, it's the only way for him to keep control of his company. Something he's been working for his entire life. It's cruel that this is his only way, but part of me just feels like it's not my problem."

"Well, it isn't your problem" Kate responded.

"I just can't help feeling responsible. I mean, obviously I had nothing to do with him being in this position, but I'm legitimately the only person that can help him. I don't know if I could look myself in the mirror if he loses everything, because of me."

"It wouldn't be because of you, it's because of his father. You can't put the pressure on yourself to solve his problems. You barely even know him. What's he like?" Kate asked.

"What I remember about him is that he was kind. He was nice to me when I was scared, and we were friends for a couple of years, before my family moved. I couldn't have been more shocked when he called me yesterday. And when I saw him, I don't think I would have even recognized him on the street."

Lyla sat in thought for a few minutes, remembering the unkempt hair he had when we were younger. He had playful hazel eyes and his smile that used to warm her to the core. When she saw him yesterday, he hadn't smiled even once, which Lyla thought added to why she didn't really see much resemblance to the boy she used to know.

"You're too nice. That's what your problem is" Katie said, after sitting and watching Lyla for a few minutes. "I get that you want to help him, and I could even see how you would blame yourself if you don't, but what's in it for you? If you're going to marry someone for two years as a courtesy, to help them out, then there's got to be something in it for you. It needs to be worth your while."

Lyla could tell she didn't like the idea of any of it, but she was trying to help Lyla process, which she appreciated.

"And if you do this, you'll need to figure out exactly what the expectations are and set some ground rules. You're 'marriage'" and she used air quotes as she said the word marriage, "would be a sham, just a formality, and I think you both need to be on the same page with that. I don't want him thinking he can try to take advantage of you or expect any domestic bliss out of this."

Lyla rolled her eyes at the 'domestic bliss' comment, but she knew Kate was right. Lyla wasn't ready for a legitimate relationship. She had only tried dating two different guys after James. Both times, as soon as anything close to intimacy began to start, she panicked and dropped the relationships. Even after all these years, Lyla still wasn't ready for that. Her memories still haunted her. She had memories of James forcing himself on her, on several different occasions. Sometimes it was after beating her into submission, and sometimes just out of drunken lust. The last year or so of the marriage, she rarely even put up a fight. She would just go somewhere else in her mind, until he would leave her alone, usually passing out from his drunkenness. A tear rolled down Lyla's face as so many bad memories filled her thoughts.

"Hey, it's ok" Katie said, as she reached for Lyla and gave her a hug. "He can't hurt you anymore. He's in prison, and you're strong. Much too strong now to let him keep that space in your mind. Don't let him keep hurting you."

"Thank you, Kate" Lyla said, hugging her back and wiping away her tears. She had met Katie when she moved into her apartment, after finally getting away from James. Kate was Lyla's closest friend, and she was so grateful to have her in her life.