Aisles

Chapter 19

Thursday, November 21st

No one moved for a whole ten seconds. Remus' brain was a flurry of thoughts and all he could do was stare agape at Sirius, who was stood half-naked in the hall. A sequence of emotions flickered over Sirius' face before eventually settling on sheepishness.

"What the fuck..." Mary managed to stutter out, shattering the moment of stand-still. Remus stood up shakily, feeling that his knees may buckle at any moment and strode towards the front door. He took the stairs two-at-a-time, his throat raw and hot tears threatening to spill over - he hated anyone seeing him cry, and he certainly was not going to do so in front of Sirius for a second time.

"Remus, wait!" Remus heard Sirius call after him and quickened his pace, a thundering of footsteps coming from the staircase above. He reached the door for the building and swung it open, stepping out into the cold of the night.

"Remus!" Sirius called after him again once Remus had reached part way down the road. He was too conscious of fellow pedestrians to run but instead walked very quickly, wiping at his face with his hands as he went. Sirius did not have the same idea, for within seconds he had sprinted towards Remus and grabbed at his shoulder.

"Remus, I swear, its'-"

Remus swung around, his face hot with upset and anger. "If you tell me it's not what it looks like, Black, I swear to god,"

Sirius bit his lip and Remus noticed that his eyes were sparkling with tears, too. "I didn't mean to-"

"You just accidentally fucked my best friend's roommate with me in the other room? Did you slip and 'whoops!', you've accidentally fucked her?" Remus spat.

"You-you said we weren't exclusive," Sirius stammered, his usually cool and confident manner completely evaporated.

"That doesn't mean you have to fucking flaunt it! I had to listen to it for hours, and was it you as well on Saturday?" The tears which had been threatening to fall broke through the dam and tore down Remus' face, but he was too furious to even notice. "I said that because I was worried you'd get 'bored' or 'distracted' or whatever the fuck Lily said you usually get, didn't know it would be within the first week,"

"Remus, I-"

"Save it, Black. And don't speak to me ever again," Remus turned and continued walking to his building, leaving Sirius behind half-dressed and crying in the cold night.

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Mary arrived at Remus' building minutes after he had. She brought a duffel bag of her own stuff as well as the things that Remus had left behind )but been to embarrassed to get). As much as Remus wanted to be alone, he was pleased that he was actually able to get into his flat and not have to sleep it rough that night. Remus had decided that one night of homelessness was better than returning to Mary's flat for his keys and risk ruining his dramatic exit.

It was unspoken that Mary would be staying over that night. Remus knew that she'd insist upon it even if he refused, she'd want to keep an eye on him. But they didn't talk. Not a word. There wasn't really anything to say. He wouldn't be able to handle talking about it, he knew he would just start sobbing, but specifically 'not talking about it' seemed absolutely unbearable too. In the end, they played music to fill the silence. Mary would periodically get up to skip songs that were either too happy (and therefore unsuitable for this occasion) or too sombre (which she probably worried would drive Remus further and further into his pit of gloom).

Mary held Remus as they fell asleep, and he allowed himself silent tears as he began to come to terms with what had happened.

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