Honey and Spice | ✔️

Chapter 20

Ryder

Who knew mall trips would be fun?

I mean, technically speaking, I've been to the mall with the boys lots of times before. They're fun too but this is different because of Mae. Maybe it's just because she's a girl and I've never actually gone out with one to a mall. (Are girls usually like this?) Anyway, it's never boring with her around. It's like she has a shit-ton of energy condensed into her tiny body - she's literally energy itself.

We're probably a public nuisance but I don't care. Nathan stopped all of us once at a gift shop to buy a small unicorn plush. He told us he promised to get a unicorn for his sister. I can't tell what's cuter: the fact that he buys things for his sister or him searching for the cutest plush unicorn.

We had just come out of H&M when Mae squeals and runs toward someone. I can't make out the other person but I can see them hugging each other. They make their way towards us, with Mae clinging to the other's arm, and I can see the girl clearly now.

Pretty tall, with short fiery red hair, icy blue eyes and carefully done eyeliner. She's wearing a loose black button-up with tiny dinosaur prints on it, grey gingham pants and a pair of polished Doc Martens.

"Everyone, this is Connor. Con, this is everyone," Mae says to us.

Connor grins. "Hello, y'all. Connor here, your average space enthusiast. My pronouns are they/them."

"Hiya, Connor! I'm Nick. Pronouns are he/him," says Nick.

"Ryder, he/him," I say.

Nathan waves. "Hi, I'm Nathan. Uh, he/him."

Connor flicks their gaze between Nathan and me for a second, pursing their lips in thought. Then, they smile and say, "So, you guys aren't exhausted by Mae yet?"

I smirk. "Just a little bit, to be honest."

"I suggest y'all beware of her when she's angry," Connor stage-whispers. "This girl can roast your ass better than a hot oven."

Mae looks at them blankly. "Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah, 'cause you're an absolute queen," they reply with a soft smile.

She grins and squeezes their hand. "Oh, thanks!"

Then, we start walking again; Nick, Connor and Mae are walking together - passionately talking about Bigfoot or something - while Nathan and I lag behind. Neither of us is talking - it's one of those comfortable silences where none of us has to speak. Occasionally, our hands would brush and I'd pretend not to notice, even though my brain is turning into mush.

"Um, Ryder?" Nathan asks after a while. "Do you have a happy place?"

Well, that's out of the blue. "Hm?"

"I mean, do you have a place to go to be happy or to de-stress?"

I think about it. "Not really. I just go to my room, listen to music, and that's it, I guess. What about you?"

He smiles shyly. "There's, um, this park a couple of blocks away from my house. Sometimes I'd go there just to walk around and take everything in. I'd look at the children playing, their parents talking, skaters skateboarding, birds flying. . . and it brings me peace that everyone's happy. I want everyone to be happy too."

"You should start small, then. Make a stranger's day or something."

Nathan looks at me. "I want you to be happy."

I wasn't prepared for that. I gulp and look away, my face burning. "I- I am happy."

"But I can tell something's holding you back. Something's preventing you from being fully happy."