The Lady Who Can't Confess (Book 2)

TLWCC XIX- Message

"Jack went here when you're hospitalized," Mommy told me while she's fixing my bed sheet.

Napahinto ako sa sinabi niya, pakatapos ng ilang araw kong tulog sa loob ng hospital dahil sa sakit ng puso ko, hindi ko pa siya nakakausap. And I don't think so when will I be ready to talk to him about our problem.

Hindi ko sinagot si Mommy at nagkunwaring tumutulong kay Mommy na nag-aayos ng bed sheet ko. As I pretend to help my Mom fixing my bed sheet, she held my hand and let me sit on the edge of my bed. I looked away to avoid her worried look to me.

"You can lie to anyone but not to your own Mom, Mauricé. I've known you for years and avoiding your eyes on me is a hint that you have something keeping in yourself. Tell me what is it, darling." She gently squizzed my hands.

She squat in front of me to get even with my eyes on her. I still looked away from her gaze. Nagsimulang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko kaya hinawakan ko 'yon. Still, I' m not ready to talk about it, even my heartbets reacts. Nagsimulang manubig ang mga mata ko dahil sa gusto na namang masialisan ang luhang nasa mata ko.

I immediately wiped it with my right hand while my right hand is on my chest. My toes are starting to tremble again because of so much emotions inside of me. Hindi nagsalita si Mommy at niyakap niya kaagad ako.

Looking at our position right now, it looks like a little girl was bullied by her friends. And now her Mommy is comforting her by means of hugging her child.

"I'm sorry," Mommy said in between our hugs.

"It's not your fault, Mom." I told her.

Simula ng ma-hospital ulit ako tatlong araw ang nakakaraan, she keeps on apologizing where in fact it is not her fault. It is someone's fault that triggers my heart to explode and beats faster than usual.

"Stop apologizing, Mommy. Walang may kasalanan sa nangyayari sa akin. If we will blame someone, I guess it's me. After all, kung hindi naman ako sumali noong Intramurals sa school, hindi naman siya mati-trigger," I told her and tears are slowly streamed down of my face.

We stayed in that position for almost a minute, savoring our Mommy and daughter's moment. May kumatok sa pinto kaya humiwalay na sa akin si Mommy, and whoever knock on my door, I'm thanking him or her for doing that. Sa tingin ko ay nakalimutan na rin ni Mommy ang tungkol sa tanong niya kanina sa akin.

"The dinner is ready!" Daddy exclaimed as he welcomed us with his wide smile. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya pabalik at inayos ang upo ko. "Ang tagal niyo naman dito, anong pinag-usapan niyong mag-ina?" Daddy asked and there it goes again, my heart beats fast pero hindi na kagaya kanina na sobrang bilis na halos hindi na ako makahinga.

"It's nothing, Honey. It's a girl talk so it's a secret between us, let's go?" Mommy told Dad and look back at me.

I smiled back at her and I nod a bit. Nauna ng lumabas si Daddy ng kwarto ko at naiwan ulit kaming dalawa ni Mommy. "We will talk soon, Mauricé when your heart is ready." She told me and put her hand around my waist.

Wala na tuloy akong kawala sa kaniya. If we are going to talk about Jack and I's problem, sa tingin ko ay kahit kailan hindi ako magiging ready. I had never experience a personal problem about love life so I don't think it is necessary.

Sumunod na ako kay Mommy at pumunta ng kusina na sa sobrang tahimik naming kumakain ay mabibilaukan na ako. I stayed silent because I'm busy thinking an excuse for Mom and excusing myself to be on the spotlight. As much as possible, I don't want to start a conversation because I don't have anything to say to them.

After of having minutes of silence, finally Daddy broke it. Kahit kasi si Kuya Renz ay hindi nagsasalita, para kaming mga PWD na hindi nakakapagsalita sa sobrang tahimik habang kumakain.