Under the Stars

13: Graduation Parties

I could not wait for high school to be over. I was ready to be out in the world and on my own. Of course, there were people I would miss, but after the way things turned out with Stevien, I was more than ready to be out of that town.

Rocky decided she was going to take a year off between high school and college. I thought about going to college but had no idea what I wanted to do with that path. I remembered her talking about traveling during that year off and decided to I followed along with Rocky. We decided to do about a year of traveling around the world before figuring out the next step we each would take. I found out at commencement that Stevien had decided to attend Harvard and he received a full-ride scholarship for baseball and his GPA. There was no doubt in my mind that he would achieve anything he put his mind to, including shutting me out indefinitely. I was struggling so much with losing my dearest, longest friend, that one night, I finally broke down. I cried on the shoulder of the only other person I knew who would be honest with me, Rocky. We sat outside my window, on the roof, looking up at the sky.

"What is wrong with me? Why won't he look at me or talk to me? What did I do wrong? Why does he hate me?" I blurted out in sobs.

"Shhh. There is nothing wrong with you El. You are the best person I know. You would never hurt anyone, and he is more than smart enough to realize that you did nothing wrong. I can't tell you why he is acting this way. It makes no sense to me. You were best friends for so long. Even Jacob says he seems different. The only thing I can think would be that maybe Beth-Ann got under his skin and turned him against you. I honestly don't know, but he is crazy to think she is good for him. She is only poison to him." Rocky said giving me the hug that I didn't know I needed.

"You once said that he completely shut you out after the accident, I bet that he is just projecting his fear onto you. I bet when he looks at you, he remembers his dad: how strong his dad used to be and how he is now. Stevien just doesn't realize that his dad will get better and that it just takes a lot of time. His dad is young and will bounce back. I don't know. Maybe you could talk to Mr. Jones to see if he has any insight?"

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong with me?"

"El. You need to stop this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you." Rocky paused for a moment before continuing. "It doesn't do you any good to dwell on the past." She said rubbing my back.

"You need to understand that he is probably still hurting and has no idea how to deal with it. I bet if you sat down and listened to him, you would know."

"That's just it Rocky, he won't talk to me. He doesn't even look at me. It's like I don't exist in his world anymore and it hurts. It hurts so bad. I miss him so much!" I angrily cried out. It seemed as though fate or Karma or whatever it is, was out to get me. I lost my best friend in the blink of an eye and it felt like I would never get him back. I missed my best friend.

The next day was graduation followed by many graduation parties and open houses. Stevien had a joint party with a couple of his friends on the different sports teams and of course Beth-Ann. I wasn't sure if I should make my way to his party with all the tension that was between us. The fact that Beth-Ann loathed me made me question it even more, but Rocky was bound and determined to drag me to every party she could attend. I couldn't say "no" to her, after all, she was just trying to help me feel better, and she had a huge crush on Jacob Bailey. He was one of the basketball team captains our senior year. He was the typical high school jock: arrogant and overconfident but could make most girls swoon with his smirky smile that added to his natural good looks. Poor Rocky fell under his charms when we were freshmen and had been stuck there ever since.

I decided I would try to talk to Stevien while we were there. I had a feeling it probably wouldn't happen, especially with Beth-Ann around. I wrote him a letter and placed it in a blank envelope just in case I was unable to get close enough to talk to him. I knew Rocky could place it in his card box if I couldn't. I was miserable, worrying about every possibility of what could go wrong, that I hadn't even thought that there was a chance something would go right.