baby loves ♡ professor lupin

✿ chapter 3 ✿

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After dealing with insomnia for hours on end Lola had finally fallen asleep, the bad news however, were that she had only two hours of her sweet sweet slumber before breakfast time. She sincerely considered just skipping it but the growl her stomach made disagreed respectfully, so obviously she obliged, with some effort she got out of bed. Deciding to go for a cute little attire as usual. A sweet off the shoulder red top with heart buttons and gingham ribbons detailing, paired with high rise denim booty shorts. For her blonde locks she did milkmaid braids so her hair wouldn't cover her top, plus it was adorable. She smiled at the mirror feeling instantly better after dressing up. She was certainly going to get in trouble for not be wearing her cloak but trouble would have to wait till breakfast and she would have to enjoy her fashion freedom for the little while she could. She bloody hated the dress robes rule. Have they ever taken into consideration how important it is expressing yourself through fashion ? the blonde thought to herself infuriated. She had voiced said thoughts to Dumbledore plenty of times and the old man actually took it into consideration since Lola had made some good points but then spoke about the importance of the school uniform ... as if! Pushing her thoughts aside, knowing it was already late and they were definitely not going to help anything, she rushed to the great hall.

River was already sitting in the Ravenclaw table and he spotted her immediately. She felt her cheeks burn of embarrassment remembering scolding him the night prior, either ways she moved towards him, she had dealt with this various times and remembering the occurrence perfectly well she knew it wasn't that bad. Nowhere close to how it had been days where her mind blurred all the events and words she spilled, and the only thing she could register was that she had screwed up like even saying that is an understatement. But River always forgave her, no matter what. She deeply felt as if she didn't deserve him but he disagreed. Lola certainly didn't know why she reacted the way she did, she was sure she was just broken by default. No one else seemed to experience such, at least not that she was aware. River definitely didn't. Yeah, she was sure that she was broken. She must have hit her head so hard when she was younger that she turned out this way. A monster. Lola Swan was a monster. The perfect definition of a creature born to destroy everything she ever touched or loved. If she didn't destroyed herself first.

Reaching the table, he never took his eyes off her.
"Hey, can I sit here?" She questioned him with a low voice looking down.

"Yes, of course" He confirmed sounding reassuring and definitely not upset, as Lola had expected, she wanted to feel happy that he wasn't yet she only felt worse because she knew she deserved him to be upset at her. Hell, Lola deserved so much worse than that. Counting all the times she mistreated and hurt him. She bloody deserved hell on earth.

While she sat down in front of him an apology directed to River left her glossy lips "I'm sorry..." her voice breaking as she kept her head down. The petite girl felt her hand being held by a bigger hand and looked up at him through teary eyes.

"It's okay, you know I forgive you." She nodded but kept her head down.

"Lola, look at me" he demanded calmly and she did so slowly "tell me what's wrong, talk to me, please." he pleaded truly concerned at his best friend's well being.

"I just-" she stopped herself, but seeing him nod encouraging her to go on made her finish voicing those haunting thoughts "I don't deserve you."

He shocked his head and spoke up: "We have gone over this, Lola, you are an amazing person despite... circumstances. I will always be here for you. Always." he emphasized the last word to reassure her further.

"No" this time she shock her head vigorously not believing his words one bit "You will leave me, one day. I will be too much for you to handle and you will leave..." Her teary eyes made a star appearance once more, the emotional witch doing her best to keep her tears held in.