Sonder [TommyInnit Angst]

Chapter 3

Tommy's POV
When Wilbur pulled me into a hug I broke down crying. One of the reasons being I'm basically touch starved. And the other being I couldn't keep it in any longer. I sobbed till I couldn't anymore, and Wilbur stayed there the whole time. After a while of just hugging him, I passed out from exhaustion. I haven't slept in 2 days. Insomnia really kicked my ass...

Wilbur POV
I sat with Tommy till he fell asleep on me. I carried him into my guest bedroom so he could sleep better. After going back and forth on the idea, I decided to get in a call with the people we were in the VC with playing Among Us. I know Tommy won't be too happy about this, but it's for the best. I won't tell them all of it either.
Once everyone joins the call Tubbo speaks first,
"why did you bring us here, Will? It's like 3 AM for us."
"I thought I should explain some of the details of what happened to Tommy. I won't say all of it, but I will tell Tubbo all of what I know because he's his best friend."
The call goes silent waiting for me to speak. I continue,
" around 12 AM I got a call from Tommy. Obviously I answered immediately because I felt guilty and was slightly worried. Tommy asked me to pick him up right before he passed out. Once I arrived he was still blacked out. But I saw a bunch of bruises on Tommy. I later asked him what they were from and he said his own father did it."
I heard a gasp from a couple people while explaining.
"That's all I can tell you guys, but Tubbo hop in VC 4 please." I ask. He hums in response. After a second of waiting, he joins the call.
"Okay so explain what happened," he says.
"After I ask Tommy about the bruises and he explains, I apologize for what I said... He smiled, which it looked obviously forced and told me it was alright. I heard him say to himself he deserved it." I heard Tubbo sigh after I take a breath and continue,
"I could've reacted better but I yelled he didn't deserve it. He flinched from my sudden outburst. I apologized immediately. I also realized he has been more quiet and not like himself lately. I decided to push it, and he finally confessed and showed me that he's-"

Tubbo cuts me off saying, "He's been self harming.."
I was confused in how he knew. He noticed my silence and continued,
"A year back I caught Tommy self harming and made him promise me to stop, but in return I couldn't tell anyone,"
Wait. How long has he been like this? How did he hide it so well. Why did he hide it. Why didn't he come to me or Tubbo for help?
I speak after a minute,
"We gotta save him Tubbo. We have to save him before he loses himself"

-Time skip: Next morning-

Tommy POV
I wake up in a sweat after yet another nightmare. I check the time, 9:30 AM.. Wait, I actually slept last night. Where am I again. I try to remember what happened. Then it hit me. All the memories hitting me with full force. I'm at Wilbur's place. My breath starts to pick up at the thought of having to talk to Will about everything. I haven't even told him half of what's happened to me. I can't do it again. Before I know it, I'm having a panic attack and I can't breathe. Shit. I hear someone enter the room but I can't make out who it is.
"Hey Tom- TOMMY. Hey Tommy can you hear me?" A familiar voice says.
I nod my head in response. "Okay can you copy my breathing? And am I allowed to hug you?"
I nod twice in response again. I feel a pair of arms rap around me. I melt into their touch as my breathing starts to calm down.

I look up to see Wilbur still hugging me. 'So it was Will who helped me' I thought.
"Are you okay now?" He asks.
"Y-yeah my breathing is better now and I can see who you are." He smiles and asks,
"Can you tell me why you had a panic attack?"
I ponder for a moment before thinking
Fuck it
"I had a panic attack, well because I basically didn't want to have to talk about my past to you, but I know I'm going to have to,"
He nods and asks, "Do you want to do it now or later?"
"I'll tell you a bit of it." He nods and I continue, "Ever since my mom left, my mental health started to sink. I started getting panic attacks more often as well, making me think my anxiety was rising too. Soon I started to believe every word I was told by my father. I started believing my haters too. My motivation just disappeared and I only streamed and ate when my father allowed me to. I slept whenever I could to escape reality, but would fail because of nightmares I have on a daily." I finished.

I looked up to see Wilbur looking stunned. I was about to ask what's wrong but I got pulled into a hug. I flinched at the sudden movement but melted into the hug. Why the hell is this man such a good hugger.

Wilbur's POV
Tommy has been through way too much for his age. He said he would only tell me a bit of it. Was that only a bit? What else could he be hiding?
After Tommy pulled away from the hug I spoke, "I'm going to make us breakfast. You haven't eaten probably since yesterday afternoon." I see him tense up and nod, but I think nothing of it.
I call Tommy down and he seems a bit pale. I want to ask, but don't question it.
Tommy only eats half of his food, which wasn't much, he says he's full. I look at him confused but he wouldn't even look at me. I dismiss him from the table and hear the bathroom door shut.
Wait. He doesn't have an eating disorder does he?
Surely not

I run up the stairs and ask Tommy to open the door. He didn't respond which made me worry more. I grab an emergency key for the bathroom and open the door.
Fuck
"Tommy.. why?"
He's sitting up against the wall and head between his head. He shakes his head and sniffles a few times before I hear him chuckle coldly. It sent a while shiver down my spine.
"Because, I don't even feel like myself anymore. Eating surely doesn't make me feel any better. It only brings up a sick feeling."

He finally looks up at me. He face had tears running down his face, yet he's still smiling.
"I lied Wilbur.. My father didn't keep me from eating. My own thoughts did, and still do," He laughs dryly at the end.

How am I supposed to help him? He has already lost himself...

1206 words
Hey luvs, quick A/N, there is no ships so when i say something that sounds like it could be a ship it's just brotherly love or a close friendship.
Please drink water and maybe take a small walk. love you all ❤️