LEAD

Chapter Four

AN// HEY GUYS! So a lot happened last chapter and I wrote this chapter at 5:30 in the morning so if some parts don't sound right blame it on me being sleep deprived :) I'm also really excited to get to a certain part but I'm trying to write more before I get to that. Anyways, tysm for even taking the time to read this trial and error piece, whether you're a close friend of mine or a complete stranger. ily <3

Sage couldn't sleep that night. Even though her father was a complete ass, he was still the father she grew up with, and that alone forms some sort of bond. Sage didn't miss him, but she missed the idea of him. The hope that one day he'd turn around and rethink the way he had treated her. The longing for his love. She didn't want Alastor, she wanted a dad. Someone who cared for her, loved her, and appreciated her in the way fathers do. Alastor could never be that for her, no matter how hard she wished he could've been. Sage had never had parents. Her mother died shortly after she was born, so she didn't even have any memories of her. "What was she like?" Sage often found herself wondering. "Would she have been a good mom? Would she have loved me? Did she want to be there for me? How would my life be if she was here?". All that wondering didn't do Sage any good, but it was nice to idealize. Since that day she killed Alastor, Sage found herself imagining a lot. It was mostly about her mother and Alastor, but then there was always that one thought. That one nasty picture, and almost longing. "What would have happened if the assassin completed his job?". She knew it wasn't a good way to think yet she somehow... liked it? It was almost like an escape for her. An escape from her life, her duties, responsibilities, and even her relationships. "What would it be like... to just not be here? To escape forever and never come back..."

She never tried to stop the thoughts, though sometimes she did push them away for a while. The truth is she didn't want them to stop. They brought her some strange sense of comfort.

Sage was in the middle of a "daydream" when Evren came up behind her and hugged her softly, interrupting her thoughts. "Hey!" Evren said, a smile on her face. "Hey!" Sage said turning around and picking Evren up to give her a soft kiss. "What are you doing?" Evren asked. "Thinking..." Sage replied, her gaze drifting to look upon her kingdom. "Are you okay?" Evren asked again. "I'm as okay as I can be I guess..." Sage said, a hint of despair in her voice. "Do..." Evren started. "Do you miss him?" "Not really..." Sage replied. "I mostly miss the idea of having a father around," she finished. "I get that," Evren responded. "But at least I have you!" Sage said, giving Evren another kiss. Somehow both girls' eyes are drawn to the blood stained floor. "Yeah about that... " Sage said. "It's okay, we'll clean it all up," Evren says in a comforting tone. "Okay..." Sage responded. She suddenly felt really guilty for the two mens deaths. A thousand thoughts swarmed her mind, except this time they weren't the comforting type. They were the angry type, the sad, horrible types, the guilty types, the types that make you want to stop thinking forever. She got light headed as her thoughts got more heavy. She felt herself losing feeling and control of her body, and she went limp. As she was falling she heard Evren calling for her, and then she felt Ev's arms wrapping around her body. After that she didn't see anything at all.

She didn't feel anything. She didn't see anything. She didn't hear anything, or smell anything, or taste anything. She couldn't think anything.

She wasn't dead, but she wasn't quite alive either.

numb.

That's all she felt. 

She woke up after a couple hours and saw Evren sitting right next to her. As soon as Evren realized Sage was awake, she quickly spoke. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?" she asked. "I'm fine," Sage replied sleepily. "Are you sure??" Evren continued to question. "Dude i said I'm fine!" Sage said back, loudly. Evrens face went blank and she murmured "Oh... al-alright," and slumped back in her chair. "Ev..." Sage said, realising what she'd done. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fuss at you. I'm just not feeling good right now-" Sage said. "Sage it's okay," Evren replied. "No, it's not. I shouldn't have talked to you like that when you were just trying to help me, sometimes I just don't know how to filter what I'm saying and-" Sage went on. "SAGE!" Evren yelled. They both kind of just started at each other for a moment. "I said, it's okay," Evren finished. "Okay, I'm sorry," Sage said back. After that Evren just layed in the bed with Sage and they both went to sleep.