Best Friend's Brother But It's My Brother's Best Friend

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story.

Four minutes is too much and not enough, but okay. I was born on the east coast, in southern Virginia. I lived there, did school and swam and played lacrosse as a kid. I had a few really close friends, but then shit hit the fan and I moved to texas about a month after everything, started living with my new parents and my new brother. Uhm, started middle school here, had a hard time making friends, didn't really trust most people, but I ended up getting super close with my brother over it. High School was kind of the same, but I met some cool people sophomore year and was friends with them till graduation. I go to college near where I grew up, studying education and psychology. I swim there, too, been doing that for a while, since my adoptive parents found out I did it at home. Got sent home nearly a year ago by covid, and now I live with my brother, my new boyfriend, and our friend George that they work with. And that's four minutes.

"I-" Clay starts, but stops, wringing his hands in his lap and shifting. "I had a whole thing to say to you and now it's not good enough." He admits, staring at where his hands lay. He's sat in the chair at my desk, spun around to face me, which he has yet to do. His head is hung, eyes on the floor or his lap pretty much the entire time he's been in here.

I want to be mean, or rude, tell him to just spit it out and get on with it, but he's torturing himself just sitting there, I don't need to add to it. Still, it's been nearly twenty minutes of him starting and stopping, and the word 'sorry' has yet to be said.

"I know this is exactly what you didn't want to happen, and I want you to know it's not your fault. It's mine." A good start, I guess. "I should have asked you, or just left it, and I didn't and it's on me." He sighs, and looks up at me. "I just wanna keep you safe." His voice breaks on the last word, and he sniffs. "And that's not the way to do it and I know it's not and I was just worried and scared and thought I could help and Nick was right but I didn't want him to be and I acted like an idiot and I'm sorry." He's crying, keeping his head down to hide it, but it doesn't do much. I reach out to him, a gentle hand on his knee just to reassure him.

"I know you're worried, bubs." A big snuffle. "And you can talk to me about it. I'm here for you, know you guys aren't used to how crazy this shit can be."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it, baby. I'm not-" His hands come up to his face, making fists against his forehead before unclenching and holding his head up. "Not used to having people, like this." It kind of breaks my heart. Yeah, he has George and Nick, but Clay really just isn't the kind of person who goes all that deep unless he really trusts someone. And while it stings that he'd rather go it alone than ask for my help, I get it, in a sense. Trust is hard.

"C'mere." I say, tugging one of his arms as I stand up. His eyes are red and puffy when they meet mine, face wet with tears. I don't say anything, just wrap my arms around him and pull him close. He takes a shuddered breath and reciprocates the hug, face buried in my neck. He's still crying, I definitely am too.

"Thank you." He's quiet, voice shaky, but it's comforting.

"Missed you." I bury my head in his chest, wanting to just drown myself in his presence. "Can we just lay down and snuggle?"

Clay barely huffs a laugh, but pulls back just to press a kiss into my forehead with a small smile. My heart fills, it's just such a sweet gesture. God, why didn't I tell him sooner.

We end up downstairs because Clay wanted to watch his weird cooking show, huddled up under the same blanket. He's laid on top of me, my back pressed up against the cushions of the peninsula on the couch, head tucked into my chest as I play with his hair. There's no real way he can see the TV like this, though neither of us are really watching. It's more of just enjoying the time we have together, relishing in the fact that we can do this again, that we're okay again.