Unpredictable | Wilbur Soot Angst

In My Head

TW: Hallucinations, panic attack, sensory overload

HELLOOOOO, I know I've said it before, but your support means so much, thank you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much. Enjoy the chapter :)

Wilbur woke up slowly, squinting in the sunlight that was filtering through the window. Phil was sitting a couple seats over from him, still asleep. Carefully, he sat up. Picking himself up gingerly, he walked over to the kitchen, then paused. He hadn't gotten himself food before now, Phil always did it for him. Phil did a lot for him actually, reminding him to eat, making sure he slept, comforting him during his panic attacks. What had Wilbur done in return?

"He wants to, you don't have to do anything", fake Tubbo protests.

"But it might be a trick! Stay cautious, Big Man." Tommy argued.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Tommy. He has a fair point." Techno adds, quite unhelpfully.

"MATES!!! Let Will decide for himself for Pete's sake." equally fake Phil, jumps in. The four continue to bicker, getting louder and louder.

"Shut up." Wilbur whispers. If they heard them they ignored him. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!" They all froze, staring at him, then simultaneously, disappeared.

"Will? You OK mate?" Wilbur whipped around, and quickly realized his situation. He was on the floor in a fetal position, hands over his ears. Phil was on the couch, now awake, and looking right at him. Fuck.

-

Phil had woken up a couple when he heard a voice. Turning, he was met with a very distressed looking Wilbur. The poor boy was curled up on the ground, rocking back and forth. He was mouthing words, and now that he listened (and because of the steadily increasing volume), Phil could make out the words: "Shut up." Suddenly, Wilbur let out a shout, and then froze.

"Will? You OK mate?" The younger male whipped around and seemed to realize his position. Red flocked his ears and he sheepishly met Phil's gaze. "What happened?"

"I- I-" the teen stutters.

"It's OK, take your time."

Wilbur took a breath, "I- I have some explaining to do, don't I?"

"I would appreciate it, yes, but you don't have to."

"No- no, um, I- I want to, I- I need to, really." Phil nodded, letting the teen collect himself. "Um, when I was- when I was... there, I- I had no one to talk to. So I, um, so I started talking to... you. Well, I mean, kinda? It was myself, I knew that, I mean." Wilbur paused, "I talked to you, Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno. You guys kinda became like my uh, my uh conscience. Most of the time th- they um, they only came- they only came when I wanted them to. But- but sometimes they come and they just won't be quiet. It gets... overwhelming?"

Phil nodded slowly, "How many times has it gotten overwhelming like that?"

"Um, about four times, not counting this one."

"What helps you snap out of it? If you have a way I mean."

"Umm, I guess... Just time I think, I mean, uh, he never- he never really tried to snap me out of it." Wilbur faltered.

"Hey, look at me." the boy met his gaze, "Thank you for telling me, we're gonna figure it out OK mate? We're gonna figure it out together." Will managed a weak smile, it was enough.

I'm gonna kill the guy that did this, I don't care that he is already dead. 

Another day, another chapter, I really need to do my homework. I do have two essays and three pages of math, whatever, this is definitely more important (for the record I am not procrastinating this all got assigned like two days ago, I'm already half done). ANYWAY, if any of you were wondering how I did that really stuttery piece of Wilbur dialogue, I basically annotated myself saying it. So high tech I know. Also, comment/feedback maybe?

:)