What Anxiety Feels Like (DNF/ Dream not found angst)

Harder to Breathe Again

George sat in his living room in front of his tv.

This would be a usual thing for when he was not streaming but this time the TV was not on. Instead, George sat in the silent room staring at the floor in front of him. It was happening again.

It had been almost two weeks since he had to end his stream because of this and it had only gotten worse since then. He has been able to keep it under control on the stream but it was getting harder.

He still has not had an anxiety attack which he was thankful for. He just had this constant feeling of dread that he didn't know how to get rid of. Occasionally he would have to sit like he was now and just calm his racing heart.

He realized that he started to pick up his anxiety related habits again. His bouncing leg, trembling hands, picking at his nails and even clenching his jaw constantly. Deep down George knew what this meant. He should get back on medication again because it was coming back and coming back worse.

Still, He just didn't want to admit it. He had gotten better why was this happening again? He knew that if he got back on medication it would be real again and he didn't want that. So, he just convinced himself that he could control it himself.

"Ok yeah ok It is perfectly fine. Just normal."  He calmed himself again sighed in relief. He got up and stretched before going to the kitchen to make himself dinner.

The looming thought and worry about his anxiety was all that he could ever think about anymore. It was always on his mind which he knew was only making everything worse. Even when he was playing with his friends and truly happy- it was there.

but, no matter what, he would suppress it. He did not need help.

--

"George you have been way too quiet!" Quackity screamed into his mic. A bunch of them were playing some game they had found randomly. They were all screaming over each other as usual but for once, George wasn't.

This snapped George back into the conversation that he had been ignoring. He had gone deep into his thoughts yet again. It has been happening too often.

"oh shut up i'm tired" he retorted back as naturally as possible.

"hmm ok but you have been weird lately and-" Quackity was cut off by all of a sudden dream screaming in terror. 

"WHAT THE FUCK DREAM WHAT HAPPENED??" Sapnap screamed over his screaming.

"I'm sorry I saw a bug" he said sheepishly. Everyone started to laugh at him but George just stayed quite. He knew that dream was never that freaked out over bugs so the scream was for him. He was taking the attention off of him.

He sighed quietly in relief. He couldn't have answered Quackity's question. Dream really always was there for him. He wished he could thank him but than he would expose that something is wrong so he stayed quite.

Besides George was convincing himself that nothing was wrong. He didn't need help if he was fine.

A few rounds of the game in George had almost forgotten about everything. He was enjoying himself and talking how he usually would.

Other than the quite in the beginning, it was going really well for George. For once he almost felt normal again.

Sadly, with his cursed luck, it just couldn't last. Out of no where, George abruptly stopped talking and gasped loud enough for everyone to hear.

"George you ok there?" Karl asked over Quackitly laughing. He just thought he had chocked on the air or something along those lines. They all were laughing at the weird noise he had made assuming the same thing.