They had one of those on and off relationships. Alot of times it was just a sexual urge that needed to be fulfilled. Each of them understood it would never become much more. Both of them mothers, and devoted to their jobs; a full relationship just wasnt in the cards for them.
When they went their separate ways Amanda had begun dating a man named Al. He was a cardiologist. He seemed okay, the sex was great. Amanda thought she had found herself a good guy finally. Boy was she sadly mistaken. He turned out to favor the company of paid escorts as well as Amanda. He kept it hidden for a while, but one night after being intimate she found his wallet on the floor and upon picking it up a receipt for the services provided fell out. Oh she was pissed, ended it after that.
After a bit of time Amanda and the doctor worked things out and starting seeing each other again. This time resulting in Amanda getting pregnant.
So Amanda had been working, lately missing the company she shared with Liv. Their nights of unbridled passion and cuddling afterwards. Never having to give each other an explanation as to why they needed each other, it was just understood. It was one afternoon at work and the case had been a tough one but Amanda needed to talk to her friend. Catching Liv in the break room she finally had her chance. Without missing a beat...
"Liv Im pregnant." The younger woman had told her boss. Liv was taken aback as she wasnt expecting that at all. "Uh okay." Amanda had the look in her eye that was trying to be happy but deep down she wasnt, she was conflicted. They talked a bit and Amanda admitted she was unsure of keeping the baby. She really didnt know if she wanted another baby and though she hadnt made an appointment abortion was a thought that had crossed her mind more than once. Especially with Al and his wandering eye. Liv had talked to her and told her that 'regret is an awful thing to live with.' When Amanda asked Liv if she had actually had an abortion Liv shook her head and walked away; silently giving Amanda the confirmation. The words stuck with Amanda. Though it was going to be hard to be a single mother to two young children, she really couldnt fathom abortion. Liv told her she would support her no matter what her decision was. Now to tell Al. When she told him he had assumed she was going to terminate the pregnancy and even offered to pay for the procedure.
That night was the night Amanda decided she needed Liv. She needed the acceptance, the closeness, and all that they shared together. She knew Liv was up probably with a glass of wine after putting Noah to bed. So she sent a text. She didnt know how Liv would respond or if she would. But she had to try, she didnt know if it was the pregnancy hormones or what it was but she was missing Liv something terrible.
"I miss you. I miss us. I wish there was a way to erase all of this and go back to when we could just be with each other."
If she thought pressing send was nerve wracking, waiting for an answer was just as brutal. 'What was Liv going to think? What was she going to say. I need to tell Liv I'm keeping the baby.' She was lost in her thoughts, hoping like hell she didnt just make things awkward with Liv. Liv however was on the other side of town, having a glass of wine since she had just talked to Noah and sorted out their issue from the other night. So hard going to bed when you have a disagreement with your child, but it was settled and all was good in the Benson household. She was suprised to see she had a text from Amanda. Oh how she missed blonde too. Thoughts raced back to the last time she and Amanda had in her eyes made love. She answered the only way she could
"I miss you too. You dont know how badly I want that, but I dont want to come between you and Al." Oh how Liv wanted them together again. She thought about that, but she didnt want to ruin anything between her friend and her boyfriend. She wanted nothing but happiness for this woman.
Amanda sat back, drinking some chammomile tea and flipping through the channels. She was so damn restless. When she saw that text, she couldnt believe it. She had broken it off with Al when he had offered to pay for her to pretty much get rid of the baby.
"Liv, he and I arent together. He offered to pay for me to 'take care of it'. I told him that I am keeping the baby and that I didnt need any help from him. So here I am once again alone, and now pregnant with another child."
Liv got that text and it broke her heart. She replied once again, the only way she knew how.
"Honey you are not alone. I am here, the squad is here. You have all of us. Most importantly you have me. Im a phone call away and I will be here for you every step of the way."
