Strip Tease (Lashton)

five

Ashton

Luke was a jackass. A conniving, inconsiderate, and irritable jackass. Who was he to ask me why I was in a music shop buying drumsticks? What was it any of his business to begin with? Who was he to judge me?

He was a nobody. He meant nothing to me.. well sometimes. I wont even try to lie, Luke was attractive, very attractive. He was the shy boy, the one that would smoke behind the building in the winter time in a beanie and oversized sweater. He was the boy who would read books on his breaks behind the bar and had to have reading glasses. He was the boy that people watched at the park on nice spring afternoons when the weather was just right. He was the boy who sang with the kitchen crew after hours while washing the dishes to help get the work done faster for them. He's got these eyes that just, and his hair, wow, and his smile.. fuck im in too deep.

I was nothing close. I was the boy who smoked to fill voids. I was the one who gave everyone the cold shoulder, and showed no emotions towards most, if not all, human life. I played drums because I liked being able to get all of my frustration out without either hurting someone or myself. I took up kickboxing as well in case playing just wasn't enough. I just wished that I could go up to him and honest let it all out in one breath, tell him that he is beautiful, and that my stomach does millions of flips whenever he looks at me. I want to be able to tell him things that I could never see myself telling anyone else.

I made it back to the apartment and carried in my drumsticks before greeting aussie at the door. He ran through my legs and back again, causing me to laugh and pick him up.

"You are a very hyper dog this morning aren't you?" He licked my nose before I set him down. He scurried back to his bed and laid there watching me walk around the apartment. I laid the drumsticks down on the counter before sitting down at the table where my laptop was half opened. I went through my emails, sorting out my junk mail from the important things when I come across one that nearly made me fall over in my chair. I opened up the email and started to read

Ashton,

It has been a while since Ive been in contact with you. Most of the reasons why are mainly because I have no want to talk to you, let alone affiliate our family with you. My only reason mainly for this email is to let you know about your brother and sister. They have been persistent when it comes to asking me if I have heard from you. Harry has started middle school and is still in soccer. Plays very well. Lauren has been focusing a lot more on cosmetology in school, and seems to have a keen intellect on the subject. They are bright, gifted kids. They do miss you however, but that is not their fault that you are gone. They know why you have left without little warning and they do blame me for it. However I feel like it is your fault. You lied to me about what you had been doing the past few months before I kicked you out of our home. You were running around, drinking. You got arrested by the cops for trespassing on an abandoned property. The worst thing about all of it, was that you were stupid enough to bring it home. You always did bring your problems home and it was always my fault. Eventually I had enough. I can honestly say that kicking you out was a smart decision, because both Lauren and Harry don't need that kind of influence around. I already have one messed up child.. I don't need the other two becoming just like you.

- Anne Marie.

Reading every word of this email made my stomach churn. How dare she even begin to say that I was a bad influence on my siblings. If anything, I tried keeping them away from my problems as much as I could. It was nothing for them to worry about in the slightest. My mother.. I shouldn't even give her that title. She just was my birth giver. She never cared about me. When Lauren came along, I was thrown to the side and that's where I was left. Not long after that, she had Harry. I watched those kids grow up to have the best possible life for them. They had great birthdays and holidays. They went to the best schools in the area while I was just lucky if I got a card on my birthday. I went to run down schools, and I never wanted to go home. The abandoned property was a run down building on the outskirts of the city. I used to climb up to the roof and stare out at the skyline for hours. It was one place where I felt like I truly belonged. I always knew I wanted to leave and move to the city. So after my mother kicked me out of my home after I had graduated high school, I had enough money saved up to buy a car and pack all of my stuff. I have never looked back since. But not a day goes by when I don't think about my brother and sister. When it gets around the time of their birthdays or Christmas is when it gets a little more difficult to adjust to. They are growing up so fast and Im missing every big thing that is going on in their lives. I will miss every soccer game of Harry's, and Lauren will soon be sixteen..

I missed them. I missed them more than I could ever understand.