Sunshine (Student/Teacher Romance) 18+

23

Ari

It's been three weeks.

Three weeks since Mr. Caswell and I'd spoken a word to each other. We mostly exchange closed lip smiles both in the halls and at home, just to keep things cordial, but I know I've done enough damage in his life and that's why it has to be this way.

I'd overstepped. I felt something for him that wasn't tangible for him in the same way. A feeling that would probably never be there for him, no matter how much I think I see it in his eyes, or hear it in his voice. I always mistake kindness for what it's not, and this time I think I've learned my lesson.

Diana: Where have you been? I miss you.

She's been texting me the past two days. I ignored the few calls she made as they rolled in, but even more so the messages she sent.

I'm assuming either one of two things are true: Diana's either flat broke, or Thomas left again.

Probably both.

Normally around this time I'd go back home. Those type of messages stand for the coast is clear. Diana's past her binge and won't for a while since she's out of money. But I don't want to go back. I like being around Abel, I like the comfort he gives me by just being there.

Even though he hasn't said much to me, he still checks on me while I'm doing my homework at the table. Even when he doesn't say a word, I feel him close to me. Reading over my writing. The only thing we seem to have to communicate comfortably through.

Mr. C,

Something that's been on my mind lately: The one person who's really been there for me. Who helped me when no one else could. When no one else would. I can't stop thinking about this person and hoping that I've only shown them how grateful I am for them. That they came into my life, no matter how fundamentally wrong it was. And how much I care about them and respect them for all that they've done for me. I just hope they know.

Ms. Reid, I'm sure this person knows. I'm sure this person is only happy to know that you are succeeding in life and that they're apart of that. That they're happy being a small part of your life. Don't worry.

He still prepares lunch for me when I've been studying for hours. He stays out of the house, gets in really late. But the nights that he doesn't, I shut off the corner lamp in the living room for him when he's passed out on the couch after an exhausting day.

I sometimes put all the class journals back into his bag when he falls asleep on the couch, grading. I make sure he wakes up with a blanket over him. I make sure he has coffee in the morning. I make sure he knows I appreciate him more than anyone else in my life by doing the little things.

After school I made the hasty decision to go to Diana's. I wanted to check on her. To check on things. To let her know I'm okay, and to maybe see if the coast really was clear.

I had a lot of guilt surrounding the fact that I'd been putting not only Abel's career on the line because of me, but his entire life. If Thomas is gone, even for a short while, I probably should return home. Maybe it would be best.

Mr. Caswell can sweep this all under the rug and his life can go back to normal. The only thing different will be that I'll be forced to move on. To pretend I didn't have feelings for him. To pretend he didn't mean so much to me.

But I've done it before. People come and go in my life. It'll hurt, to bounce back to strictly teacher and student, but I care about his wants more than I care about my own.

"Ari!" Diana's eyes light up and she places her lit cigarette between her lips before throwing her arms around me. Despite everything Diana's done, or hasn't done to me, I feel myself faintly smile as I hug her back. "Where have you been? I've missed you so much, doll."