Seizing Dreams [B1]

Ch4 - Expectations

Chen Yekai smiled and said, "I was just making a random comment, don't mind it."

Yu Hao nodded. He didn't even have any goals he wanted to achieve before he took his college entrance examination. But his grandmother had been stricken with breast cancer, and the doctor suggested conservative treatment for her1, so in order to make her slightly happier, Yu Hao decided to sit for the college entrance examination.

About half a year ago in June, Yu Hao went to sit for his last examination in the morning. Before that, his grandmother had heated up some milk and left bread for him on the table. After his examination ended in the afternoon, he went back and realised that she had already left.

He had incurred quite a bit of debt from paying for his grandmother's medical expenses, so Yu Hao sold his house to repay most of it. He decided not to attend university, and instead chose to look for a job in the city first to pay off all his remaining debts; he planned to leave his hometown after doing so in order to say goodbye to his past and start a new life from scratch as he searched for the meaning of life.

But in the end, after he had provided a takeout service for two months during his summer holidays, he changed his mind. His manager who was suffering from a lack of educational qualifications had talked to him.

"I returned to attend college, because even a random diploma would be more useful than a high school diploma for job hunting. Education can change one's destiny, if you don't further your studies, you can only repeat your old paths wherever you go." Yu Hao explained.

"That's pretty well said." Chen Yekai said, "But, I don't think we pursue education just so that we can change our destiny. If in the morning I were to gain knowledge of the truth, then it'll be okay if I were to die at sunset2. The experience of learning itself should be more enjoyable than it is rewarding. Whatever you do shouldn't always just be done because it's 'useful'."

Yu Hao didn't quite understand. No one had told him these things before, so after he heard these words he simply nodded his head.

Afterwards, he saved up a few months worth of his salary and enrolled in a college. He could only owe his tuition and accommodation fees in advance. He had a monthly allowance of 400 yuan which was used for his phone bill, transportation fees for tutoring, bedding for when the weather turned cold......and a lot of other expenses that he would have to bear until winter vacation started. When he first moved into his dormitory, he did have hopes of developing a good relationship with his roommates as he started this new phase of his life. However, ever since military training started for them, he gradually began to realize that the problems that had plagued him for many years would likely never disappear.

When his roommates smoked during military training, he couldn't smoke with them; when everyone wanted to treat their instructor to dinner after military training ended, each person would have to fork out 50 yuan and 50 yuan was equivalent to his food expenses for four days, so he didn't join them. When his roommates asked him to stay overnight with them in an internet cafe, one night would cost him 18 yuan, and they would probably eat supper as well which would cost about 25 yuan — which was two days worth of his food expenses — so he couldn't join them in the cafe either. Others said that they would treat him, but he didn't have the money to treat them back, so he wasn't willing to scrounge free foods off others.

His roommates had pooled some funds to set up an internet line which he had contributed to as well. He intended to use the internet to play some free games on his phone so that his life wouldn't be so dull, but in the end, those who downloaded xunlei3 kept downloading xunlei, and those who watched videos kept watching videos. This had irritated him to no end4, so he got into an argument with his roommates because of this matter.