Captivated

Realisation

I dragged my suitcase and bag through the house which luckily was all on one floor all the way to my new bedroom, the master suite. I opened the door to be greeted by a massive king sized bed with swan towels and chocolates on the pillows. I slowly gazed around this beautiful room that I will be spending the next few weeks, the ceiling to floor length French doors with beautiful cream curtains. I walked in and dumped my bags by the bed, totally in awe over the amazing view that I will get to wake up to, framed by green tropical trees and a mountain to my right, lay the beautiful glistening see, I flung open the French doors and tried to hear for the sea, yes I could hear the sea from my room. This is what I need to completely relax and find peace with myself and the world I'm in. I turned around, and ran my hand along the bed frame, taking in the fresh white cotton sheets on an immaculately made bed, then moving over to see the beautiful antique bronze full length mirror in the corner, I then went over to admire a beautiful wooden desk perfect for doing work if I needed to, I love being creative, even when I'm not working at home. I make my way to the bathroom, thinking I can finally freshen up and take a shower, I stepped through into my own en-suite and gasped, there was a beautiful big shower with the most gorgeous Moroccan style tiles, next to a lovely relaxing roll top bath, I can't wait to relax in that! 

I decided to start unpacking my bags and take sometime to myself, away from the boys. I made sure all my clothes were either hung or folded away and then set about to organise my makeup on my dressing table in the bathroom, looking out over the Fijian sea. I turned on the shower and peeled off my clothes that felt like had been stuck to my body for days and let the water fall over my hair, embracing the warm cleansing water, wiping sleep from my eyes. After what felt like an hour I pulled myself out of the shower and redid some fresh natural makeup, no way was I ready to show my bare face to the boys. I had no idea what to put on, after not seeing the boys since we arrived at the house and it now being 4pm it was too early to go down to the restaurant that Dario had recommended, I decided on taking a walk along the beach to gather my thoughts, I might as well with it only being 50 metres away from our garden. I put on a white swimsuit with a gold buckled belt, onto I chucked on a sheer beach cover up, with it being 35 degrees I definitely didn't want to get hot and sweaty on a walk, I may even pop in the sea for a swim.

I walk down the hall into the kitchen/living area and grabbed a water to take with me, and walked out the back glass sliding doors into the garden where the guys were sat relaxing by the pool, Adam let out a wolf whistle which I immediately returned with a catwalk style pose, which caused us all to laugh, I like this version of me I don't have to worry about what people think because most of the time people are actually nice, I just need to get used to this. One person that didn't laugh was Luca, I noticed him take a glance at me from above his sunglasses, I suddenly felt self-conscious, I quickly looked away and smoothed down my cover up and took a sip of water. "I'm off to the beach for a walk, what time are we going out for dinner so I know what time to be back?" I announced, 

"you're going on your own?" Luca suddenly piped up, 

"Yes of course I am, is that a problem?" I replied, I don't think I can come to much harm walking down a beach this close to the house, why act so protective...

"You could at least swap numbers with us so we are contactable in case there is a problem" He replied, pretty bluntly I noticed; 

"Fine, who wants it? Although you don't have to worry about me, I'm more than capable of looking after myself" 

After swapping numbers, I sulked off to the beach now without the freedom I had been feeling before our conversation, the guys particularly Luca had made me feel like I was vulnerable on my own in these surroundings, causing me to feel uncomfortable. Why should I be made to feel like this just because I am a girl, if one of the guys were to go for a walk on their own they wouldn't be faced with these concerns. I decided to take a walk for around a mile down the beach, concentrating on staying on the shore line, sinking my toes into the wet soft golden sand.  The sand felt warm beneath me and finally I felt like I could breath now I was out in the open. The sound of the waves lapping on the shore made me feel so relaxed and chilled that I had walked the mile before I had even realised and was now near a cove at one end of the beach, I decided this was the perfect spot for a dip, the water was calm and so clear so I could keep an eye on harmful sea creatures, I left my phone under my coverup on a rock and made my way down to the water. The water wrapped around my ankles, pulling me in further, every step I took into the water the more tension came away from me, every step felt more like I was floating until the sea bed fell away and I was actually floating, surrounded by crystal clear water holding me up.