arc iii ━ chapter iii. destiny

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a r c iii.
and when the heavens cried in anguish,
all the burdens come tumbling down.
━━ chapter iii. destiny

ERISU BREATHES.

Some days it's a little difficult to do so, but she manages anyway. It is important to breathe. Even when you're overwhelmed, when you can't find colors in a dark world, when every problem is piling atop each other; it won't solve things as fast as a snap of a finger, but to breathe is to tell the world that you're not done yet. That you can still withstand the challenges shoved at you, that you can still do something.

Erisu breathes again.

"Erisu-sama, this is magnificent progress," Harunobo cheers. He makes a point to emphasize the magnificence of the progress Erisu has made by clapping. "At this rate, you'll be ready for the ritual in no time."

"Do not take the ritual lightly, Harunobu," Akifumi speaks. Her voice contrasts the faux cheeriness in the other elder's tone. It's cold and blunt and genuine. "If it was easy, we would have completely exorcised that curse not continue to seal it. Even Amaterasu-omikami has to pass it down to us of the Nakano clan. Erisu-sama is doing well, but well is not what is expected of her."

She turns to Erisu, her gaze sharp. Prove me right. Prove your father right. Prove your worth. "What we need is a perfect outcome, never forget."

"I understand, Akifumi-sama," Erisu replies and bows her head in respect. Akifumi has always been intolerant. No matter how much she valued Erisu as the heiress of the Nakano clan, she would always stick to her standards and measure everything accordingly. She respects that so much more than Harunobu and his sycophantic tendencies. "I will do my best to surpass your expectations."

"Do so," Akifumi responds. "And do it on time. A year and a half remains. We await the outcome of this venture."

Akifumi exits the room and Erisu rises to practice again. Harunobu assists as he is ought to do, waving hand motions she is supposed to follow matched with careful steps and chanting. Her days are filled with arduous tasks, practicing Cursed Techniques, following proper steps, improving her endurance and training with Marika.

Erisu may dislike Harunobu's attitude, but he's a good teacher. His innate cursed energy has always been great despite his lack of standing in their world. He was a no name civilian who climbed his way to the top, who married and lied and cheated to get what he wanted. He was old now, but he still continued his ploys to rise higher and higher. Erisu thinks he's going to topple over from all that height.

She should know. She's always been at the pinnacle, standing above others at the summit. The Nakano heir. Voices swim into her head, penetrating her thoughts and distorting everything. She's somewhere high, overlooking everything.

Erisu can't breathe. She feels like she's walking on a tightrope and one wrong breath, one wrong step can send her careening down the pit. She needs to balance the responsibilities in her shoulders, tread the path laid out before her with measured steps, with dignity and grace.

Because I am the heir, she thinks to herself. An attempt to assuage her fears, to push away the constant shadows telling her that she'll fail, telling her that this path is not meant for her, that she is unworthy. Because this is my destiny.

"Excellent!" Harunobu cheers after Erisu manages to successfully perform the bit he demonstrated. "That will be enough for today. If you wish to practice more, do so, but do not forget to take breaks. Your health is of great importance after all. Send the servants if you need any cosmestible or hydration."

Harunobu excuses himself shortly after. Erisu nods and dismisses him.

She raises her hands, wipes the sweat off of her brow and moves. Feet steady, hands steady, voice hushed. A jujutsu sorcerer's strength heavily relies on their innate talent, on the cursed energy dwelling inside their bodies. She raises her head. I am the heir to the Nakano clan, the clan born of Amaterasu-omikami. I have cursed energy coursing within me. A power so great if harnessed correctly. Steps: one, two, three. I will not fail, I will not simply pass.

"Oh star in the heavens..." she speaks, the words flowing from her lips like river water unhampered by rocks.

I will be perfect.

A breath escapes her lips once she is finished. Now she just has to repeat it for a dozen or so. Erisu stays still to calm the rampant beating of her heart. She has a couple of hours left before she needs to train with Marika, hours she will devote to training and studying the lessons they will have tomorrow. Preparation and dedication is key. She's known this ever since.

When her heartbeat steadies, she rises and performs. Again and again and again until she collapses from the last one. Servants rush into the room after hearing the thud, but Erisu rises just fine. She asks for water and spends the next minutes resting. If Azu were here, she would get a severe scolding for neglecting her health. Erisu smiles to herself and sips the water, but stops as soon as the words return to her skull.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

"No distractions," she murmurs and before she can stand to begin practice, there is a knock on the door.

"Come in."

A servant enters. A small boy whose head is bowed respectfully. Erisu remembers his name as Koyasu; she remembers all the servants' names, their faces, their personalities. As expected of the Nakano heir.

"What is it?"

"Erisu-sama, I came here to inform you that Kazuko-san will be leaving for Tokyo today."

She clenches her fists but unfurls it almost immediately. Focus. No distractions.

"I see." She should bade her bestfriend goodbye, say something to soothe the overwhelming distance that is bound to form between the two of them. But Erisu doesn't. Instead, she holds her ground, her face betraying nothing of the emotions that lurked beneath her skin. "Thank you for that information. You may leave."

Erisu resumes practicing. She has too much on her plate right now. The coming ritual, the guilt, the responsibility placed upon her as the Nakano heir. Her father had told her that it was time. "Playtime is over, Erisu," he said even when tears sprang from her eyes due to the earlier revelation, the dismantling of veils that covered secrets and lies. "Failure is not an option."

Erisu had always been perfect, had always strived for perfection and if worrying about Azu and entertaining the guilt gnawing at her chest would risk that perfection, she would have to throw it all away. Not now. Not when she has to prove her worth.

She closes her eyes.

"You've always felt too much, child," her father's voice again. Tears surface on the corner of her eyes. She pushes the thought of Azu moving. They'll see each other again. Azu will return. She may be as volatile as waves, ready to vanish into the ocean, but Erisu was her shore. And the waves would always return to shore. She won't cry. Focus on what's important. "I was uncertain as to how you would take it."

"How could you do this, father?" she asked with tears streaming down her face. "How could you?"

"It is done."

She should hate him, but her mother was gone and he was the only blood she'd pour affection towards. The one who gave her the world, who gave her Kazuko as a companion and everything she could ever ask for. Father had made a mistake, but she would not err like him, she would rise to the challenge and comquer. She has to. Prove yourself. Be everything they made you to be, but better. This is your destiny. And no shoddy secrets will take it away.

Erisu wipes the droplets of tears away and breathes.

━━ to be continued.
|| and that's the end of arc 3! we're finally getting to the character development/regression and all that jazz. i hope everyone's enjoying ♡
|| any theories? or anything you just want to happen in general? i'll be glad to listen.
|| also, i've dedicated a couple of chapters to you guys (you know who you are ♡). thank you so much for all the support you've given this story ♡ from the comments to the simple votes, you warm my heart so much ♡
|| i hope everyone's safe and healthy. || if you have some time, please check out the threads i've linked in my message board and sign some petitions. donate if you're able as well ♡ systemic racism is alive and well in 2021, and signing petitions may not end it immediately, but it's a step into helping a lot of people, so if you can, please give some help ♡ thank you!

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