CELESTIAL FLOWERS ( s. gojo )

arc vii ━ chapter i. prophecy

a r c vii.

❝ is your name a wish, a prayer, or a hope?

is your name a curse? ❞

━━ chapter i. prophecy

SOME NAMES HAVE MEANINGS. Others do not. Others are merely a product of coincidence, while there are those who plan meticulously. Poring over websites and books to find the perfect name for their new, tiny bundle of joy. Nakano Ebisu and Amamiya Yua belonged to the category of parents who bore their own intentions for naming their child. Ebisu named his eldest daughter Erisu because he obeyed the wishes of his wife when she said that she wanted a name that closely resembled his. It aligned with his intention of adding the character 'su' at the end of her name like all the important Nakanos before her. And so the girl was given the name of Erisu.

Kazuko received her name from the elder who had raised her since the untimely death of her mother. Ebisu sought to identify which category the name of the girl belonged to.

"Why did you name her Kazuko?"

The sky was dark, stained with a handful of shining stars and the full moon whose essence spilled past the canopies of the trees and reflected itself on undisturbed ponds and lakes. He drank the cup of tea on his hand as soon as the question escaped his lips, his figure expectant of an answer.

Fuyuko's voice was not warm. She had always possessed the voice fit to deliver logic. Even Ebisu who had seen his aunt smiling in his childhood had always registered her as a cold person in his mind. It was jarring to see Kazuko take after her. It was even more jarring to detect those tinges of affection in her voice. Did she truly care for the child? Was it even possible for Fuyuko who had been named after the season she was born, who had taken after the traits of the harsh and cold winter, to feel genuine affection towards another?

"She was such a small and quiet child," she said. Ah. How could he forget? His uncle, the previous heir apparent to the Nakano Clan, Nakano Tetsu, who was husband to Fuyuko could not conceive a child with her. The old woman who was loyal to her husband even in death did not take another partner and was left childless for the rest of her life. Little Kazuko swathed in cloth with her barely functioning organs would have been a blessing to Fuyuko. "Even her cries were soft. The mewlings of a cat may sound greater in comparison. I held her in my arms and when she wrapped her small fingers around my thumb, I knew I wanted all the good things for this child.

"Harmony," she breathed. In the darkness illuminated only by a few lanterns propped on the corner of the room, Ebisu could almost see a smile forming on her lips. "I wanted harmony for her. A peaceful life."

Ebisu smiles. His smile is more noticeable than Fuyuko's. The fondness is infectious. Even if she was Fuyuko, hearing someone speak of children made his heart warm, made his guards weaken. Enough to let him ask careless things. "What would her mother feel?"

The almost imperceptible smile on the older woman vanishes. "That woman didn't feel," she says, her voice laced with pride. "She only thinks. That is why I chose her as my attendant. Loyal to a certain degree, unfailing, and knew when to keep her mouth shut. I needed a meticulous machine, I got one.

"But Kazuko is not her mother... she is strong yes, but she is neither her mother"— she smiles again, but this one is not of fondness— "nor her father."

Silence. The sins of yesterday will forever haunt tomorrow, indeed. Ebisu hides the bitter smile on his face as he takes the final sip of his tea. Time passes, punctuated by the hushed cries of the cicadas outside and Fuyuko tapping her fingers against the tatami.

"Do you think she'll ever find peace?" he asks, once he figured that Fuyuko had maintained her calm.

"I hope... someday..." she whispers. "The path is not clear. A jujutsu sorcerer's path, especially, is like wading through a swamp. Perilous. Uncomfortable. There are instances when you want to abandon the journey, go back to land. But as they say, to grow flowers there must be rain. Rocks must be tempered to form gems. Trees uprooted and burnt to usher new life. There will be discord, but there will be peace."

Her voice softens. If you did not pay attention, you would almost miss it. "I wanted that for her most of all. To find harmony even after all the pain."

 ■ ■ ■

KAZUKO IS NOT FINE. It's obvious when you look at her. The grey bags under her eyes, her hollowed cheeks, and the bones poking out of her skin that was barely masked by fabric. Break. Break. Break. Break it all. She tears her gaze away from the mirror and exits the comfort room. It's a couple of minutes after the beginning of her lunch break and she's upheaved all the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. She tried to eat something, but her body refused to take it. Break. Break. Break. Break it all. And the accursed voice in her head keeps getting louder.

"Kazuko, you alright?" Hayami who is just about to enter the comfort room asks her.

Kazuko throws her a reassuring smile. "Something just upset my stomach. It's fine now though."

"Really?" she asks, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"Really," Kazuko affirms and leaves before Hayami can poke more into the situation.

Break. Break. Break. Break it all. Kazuko stops but decides to continue walking. She refuses to let it get to her. Weeks have passed and the words that were once a cacophony of indecipherable noises had been made more lucid. Break. Break. Break. Break it all. Devour it all. Until there's nothing left. A high-pitched grating sound that's been echoing all over her skull.

She heads to the classroom, greets Kiyoshi who's hunched over a book, and pins her own attention on scribbling some talismans for her markers. She could do it later, but she's in desperate need of a distraction from the voices. She thinks it's going to drive her insane sooner or later. Maybe she's been cursed. Or maybe it's just the stress piling up on her shoulder. Whatever it is, she needs to get rid of it.

Class begins when their instructor enters the room. She can barely process the torrent of information assaulting her senses, and all she has going for her are the notes she's scribbled in her notebook. This goes on for the rest of the subjects in the afternoon and when Hayami is called for a mission, Kiyoshi volunteers to tag along. Kazuko considers it, but she opts for sleep instead.

"Kazu!" She turns to meet the owner of the voice. Gojo is heading towards her, flanked by Shoko on his side. She greets them in proper decorum; Shoko replies casually and Gojo does too. She's been a student for over a year, but sometimes it still remains difficult to wrap her head around the fact that these two who are always taking it easy, who are always in relaxed stances and making funny faces are prominent figures in Jujutsu society. The one who possessed the Six Eyes and the other who was capable of using Reverse Cursed Techniques on others. Both are incredibly valuable.

"You heading somewhere?" Gojo asks her.

"Just to my room."

"I'll walk you there."

Shoko whistles and Kazu turns to her, curious. She simply offers a small smile that the latter is unable to decipher.

"You don't need to," Kazuko tells Gojo. She doesn't want him to even catch a whiff of what's going through her head. The neverending shrieks of break break break. And the cryptic phrases that followed. Break it all. Devour it all. Until there's nothing left. Dust to dust. Bone to bone. Ashes to ashes. She hears the following chuckle from Shoko which grounds her to reality and just in time to witness the subsequent frown on Gojo's face.

"I'm worried about you, okay, twerp?" he tells her. He gestures at her entire form. "You look like you're going to fall over any second now."

She tilts her head to the side. Break. Break. Break. Break it all. Blinks. Musters a small smile that hopes to reassure him. Devour it all. The stars, the moon, the sun, and the heavens. "I'm fine."

"Whatever, we'll still walk you there," he says and turns to Shouko. "Right? You'll use a Reverse Cursed Technique on her if she even so much as faints."

"Satoru, you're such a loser," Shouko says. "Having to rely on me."

"Shut up."

Kazuko tries to interfere with their banter. "I'm grateful for the concern, but I'm doing well."

They refuse to accept it and end up walking her to her dorm room. Shoko passed by a vending machine and got occupied with a limited-release candy. Gojo hovers in her doorway.

"Hey, you didn't faint or anything, but are you sure you're doing fine?" His eyes are roaming curiously over her body and it makes her a little self-conscious, but Kazuko does her best impression of a cheerful, healthy figure.

"I'm fine," she lies and prepares to shut the door close. "Some sleep will put me back to normal."

Gojo opens his mouth to speak, but Kazuko closes the door on him.

"I'm fine." Break. Break. Break. Break it all. Kazuko heads to her bed. The stars, the moon, the sun, the heavens. Break it all. Devour it all until there's nothing left. Break. Break. Break. She falls to the mattress, and puts a pillow over her head in a desperate attempt to muffle the voices. Break. Break. Break. Break it all until there's nothing. No ashes, no tears. Until there's nothingness. "I'm fine."

Until she's dead.

━━ to be continued. 

i. uhhh any theories? i'm interested to hear your thoughts.

ii. this is the final arc btw <33 so only a couple of chapters left.

iii. thanks for reading!