Healing

CHAPTER 3: THE HEALER'S AT HIS WORK

Will's mind was screaming 'PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! OH MY GODS! OH MY GODS! SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!' but he had gotten used enough to this that he told his head to shut up, even though it didn't work, he controlled his body to be calm and repeatedly told himself that everything would be ok if he just didn't listen to his INCREDIBLY STUPID BRAIN. He kept muttering things to himself to distract himself from the fear and adrenalin rush inside of him and put his vast and colourful vocabulary to use- both in English and Ancient Greek. He couldn't believe how ignorant, careless and reckless Nico was. His injuries were so serious that they might even have killed him if Will hadn't found out about them. But he was confident enough in his powers and work that he knew that Nico would live. Thank the Gods for that, or he would never be able to forgive himself. Not only because he would be a patient that he wasn't able to heal, but because he was a good friend, even though Nico didn't think so. And because Will knew how much he'd been through, how many times he hadn't been able to get the fresh start he deserved. And because Will was catastrophically in love with him.

He'd noticed him since the first time he'd come to Camp and he'd also noticed the way he looked at Percy. He knew he liked Percy and probably would never like him, but he just could NOT help it.

'I mean, he was so cute and adorable and handsome and he always caught my eye. He was different and his smile lit up my heart and day just like it lit up his face. And then his eyes- they were beautiful brown eyes that seemed to hold the world in them. When you looked at them, you could see he knew a lot of things and had a huge amount to share and they were just full of so many things. And I fell for each and every one of them.' You could still see them, but they were buried beneath a layer of sadness that was always there, eating away at him.

'I want to chase away all that unhappiness from his life. He had had enough of it for a while.' He thought to himself as he watched Nico sleep, wearing- for the first time- a camp half-blood t-shirt. When Will had told him to sleep and give his body a little rest, he had refused. After a lot of arguing, Nico finally told him that he had been avoiding sleeping as much as possible because of the Tartarus nightmares. He was sobbing violently and Will figured this was the closest he let anyone come to his true self. In the end Will had held him tight, muttered condolences into his ears and let exhaustion take over him so he could sleep properly. Then he gave him a high dosage sleeping pill in his sleep- because there was no way in hell he would take it while he was awake- that would probably keep the nightmares at bay. He still sat there in the chair beside his bed partly so he could be there if and/ or when his nightmares returned and partly because he wanted to be there for him. He had liked it when he had held Nico so tight so close and had been his steady rock to hold on to when he had been drowning in the sea that stretched endlessly all around him.

He would've stopped himself from wanting that because he knew Nico liked Percy, but lately Nico slowly stopped looking at him like that and had started to flush a little when he saw Will. He felt that if this went right, he could win Nico over.

'Will! Will, wake up!' Will was woken up by the sound of Nico calling for him. He was shaking him hard. He stretched in the chair and rubbed his eyes. 'I see you're awake. You sleep well?' he asked. Nico nodded. He looked as if he had slept well. The shadows were gone from under his eyes and he seemed energetic. He looked fresh- well as fresh as you could look first thing in the morning- and he wasn't frowning or scowling.

He even had a slight smile on his face.

'Well why'd you wake me at this hour?' he yawned after looking at the clock in the infirmary that said it was one in the morning. 'Well I woke up around midnight and I lied there thinking I might fall asleep again, but I was just tossing and turning all along. I didn't want to wake you at first, I mean you really drained yourself while healing me and you probably dealt with many other patients during and after the battle, so I though you deserved the rest. Then after one hour I had had about enough of it and couldn't help it.' He mumbled most of this, but Will understood it nonetheless.

'It's actually good that you woke me up. I had to check on you once you woke up anyway.' Will replied. 'So how are you feeling?' 'Much better than I've felt in about a month.' Nico declared after thinking for a little while as if doing a mental assessment of his body. 'I feel a little tired and weak- but that was kind of expected.' he added. 'Obviously.' Will muttered. 'I don't get it really though, Di Angelo. Why didn't you get yourself checked up when you knew how bad your condition was?' Will asked him. He really didn't get it. He understood that Nico had been through a lot, and there was very little in his life to look forward to, but he couldn't grasp why he pushed everyone way. He did have many who loved him and who would help him- who would be glad to do so, if he just asked or let them do it for once. He carried so heavy a weight all by himself, that Will feared that he would collapse under it- that he would be crushed- or maybe he would just shatter altogether. It wasn't wrong to seek help, in fact, it was necessary sometimes. There was nothing wrong or shameful in it, but Nico didn't think so and stubbornly refused to understand.

And Will still asked he why had he done what he had done, though he was afraid he knew the answer already and didn't like it one bit. He suspected that the breaking point had come- that he had had too much to bear and didn't want to bear it anymore that he didn't see any other way, and was so desperate that he decided to take it. But Will still asked, hoping that maybe, just maybe, there was a way that he could fix it, that maybe there was a flicker of hope. After all, Nico had come to the infirmary. He wouldn't have taken the risk if he really wanted to go through with it. And he had looked better this morning- happier. It really didn't add up, but you only know what the person shows you. And Nico Di Angelo was as hard to figure out as he was beautiful.

'Well, actually there are a number of reasons, but the most prominent one is that I wasn't sure that I wanted to get them fixed. I kept wondering why? Why get them fixed? And then I thought why am I thinking like this? But I knew very well why. I knew how things were, but they weren't that bad. I was hanging in the balance, you could say, I guess.' Nico confirmed Will's worst fears, who felt tears burning behind his eyes and might've actually cried if Nico hadn't continued, 'Being surrounded all these people really didn't help, so I decided to run away from both camps and figure out things by myself, but this morning Jason talked to me, and I guess that's what tipped the balance and I realised I wanted to live.' Will was so relieved; the tears came pouring right down his face. He was so happy Nico had found a reason to live, and that there was someone that he didn't push away. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought, so he's crushing on Jason. Looks like he has a thing for great, brave, heroic demigods/ guys. I guess I'm never gonna be anything to him. But he ignored it since his joy was greater than those petty thoughts.

But there was one thing greater than even his joy- taking care of Nico. So naturally, Will then proceeded to yell at him, 'But why would you ever think anything like that?! Nico why don't you ever come to someone so that they can help you? It's not bad to need or want help sometimes! This is what happens when you shut everyone out! Gods, Nico, you can't carry the entire burden yourself! It's impossible! You're only human if you make mistakes or if you are weak sometimes. It's ok, alright?' he then moved closer to him, and attempted hugging him, but Nico moved back. Will wasn't hurt though. It was clear that he backed away more out of shock, and wanted to take everything, although he wasn't sure what was it that he had to take in. He had just started wondering if he had done something wrong, when he murmured softly while looking down, his voice slightly cracking 'You care?' when he looked up, he had tears running down his cheeks and neck, but he didn't look hurt or unhappy. Will figured the tears were because he had been emotionally shaken, moved, or overwhelmed.

They both knew there was a lot to be discusses and they had plenty of time since it was only around one-fifteen in the morning.