Healing

CHAPTER 4: PANICK ATTACKS, LATE NIGHT CONFESSIONS AND A LOT MORE

Nico was looking at Will as he filled a glass with water, while he sat on his bed, trying to wipe his tears and not look pathetic. Again, why did he care? He didn't get it. He was feeling like maybe he liked Will, but he really wasn't sure, and didn't want to be especially since he wasn't even sure if Will was gay or not, (the latter more likely) and even if he was, why would he ever in his whole life like or want a pathetic, useless, burden like him. And he was a year younger that Will, give or take a few months.

Will gave Nico the glass of water to drink, and he took it gladly. Will then sat down, and gave Nico about half a minute before saying, 'So, tell me everything.' 'What?' Nico asked, not sure what everything meant. 'Tell me everything that made you think that no one would care if you died, and everything that made you feel that maybe you wanted to die.' Will elaborated. 'I don't care if it's your whole life story, you have to tell me everything because I wanna help you and seems like no one had been able to. And yes, I do care. I'm your doctor and I need to keep you in good health, which also means mental health, but more than that, I care about you as a friend.' Will told him, and Nico still couldn't believe that someone cared about him that much, but he did believe that he needed him.

And it was at that moment when Nico was sure he liked Will. It wasn't because he was his 'knight in shining armour', but because that was Will- generally caring about people, being kind and friendly and absolutely cute.

So Nico told him everything and waited for him to react somehow at the part when he came out to him, but he didn't react at all. At first he thought that Will didn't want to be rude and interrupt him, but even at the end, Will didn't say anything. Finally curiosity got the better of him, and he asked him, 'Soo... you aren't shocked by the fact that I'm gay? You aren't horrified? You don't wanna "correct" me, or beat me? Or do you really not care?

To that, his teenage doctor answered, 'Well, there's nothing to be shocked about. Neither is there something wrong with you, nor are you better than straight people. You're still another person who happens to be gay. So what? People are gay. It's normal.' 'This,' Nico said, 'Is the best response when someone comes out.' And he smiled. He actually smiled. A big and genuine smile, all for Will. He noticed him staring for a bit, but then he went back to tidying the top of the dresser, shaking his head slightly as if trying to rid it of cobwebs.

Then Will said something that left Nico aghast- 'Also, I knew that you had a crush on Percy.'

He had mumbled it incoherently, but Nico heard it regardless.

Nico was having a panic attack. He felt incredibly cold, his head was throbbing and his mouth has gone as dry as winter winds. He could sense his heart thumping away in his chest and it seemed that it wanted to tear through the bones, flesh and skin and burst out of there. He knew his hair was wet with sweat and he kept seeing images of Percy telling him to 'meet him on the other side' and then letting of the ledge and free falling into his and the world's possible, horrible end. His muscles tensed, he started trembling and he felt the breakfast Will had made for him coming back up. Will- Will! Where was he? He needed him now, RIGHT NOW. Maybe he'd been lying earlier about dealing with him being gay and all, and was actually really repelled. Maybe he never wanted to see him again. That was definitely it. 'This is it,' He thought. 'This is how I'm going to die.' He felt tears streaming down his face and for the first time, he let them fall. After all that he had faced, this how he was gonna die- from a stupid panic attack. Not from protecting someone, not saving the world, not fighting, but in an infirmary bed, from a panic attack, and the last emotion he ever felt would be paralysing fear. Then he felt arms wrap around him. He somehow managed to look up once he calmed ever so slightly. It was Will. With his caring, soft blue eyes, and bright blond hair, and his face that radiated calm. He held Nico so close, they could have been one person entirely. Then he heard humming. Will was humming a song, and somehow that helped. Soon he calmed enough to realise which song Will was humming- 'You Are My Sunshine' though it was not in English. Then he realised it was in Ancient Greek.

After drinking a lot of chilled water, Nico was finally stable enough to talk. He told Will about the panic attack and the memory that triggered it. He had a couple panic attacks before but this one was incredibly horrible. 'I'm sorry.' Will said, 'I shouldn't have made you talk about everything. It made the memories resurface and that probably triggered your attack. I'm so incredibly sorry.' He was breathing fast and heavily and looked ready to burst into tears. 'Hey,' Nico said softly, feeling very close to the blond boy after everything that had happened that night. 'It's not your fault.' He told him as he put his hand on his arm, despite not liking physical contact much. He knew that it would make Will feel better. 'You yourself told me healing is not an overnight process just this night- well, morning, but that's not what matters. What does matter is that I did feel better telling you everything, and I still do. Everything has its pro's and con's, okay? Don't stress yourself out. You do that enough with the patients.' Will just wrapped him arms around him and Nico welcomingly leaned into it, because there was just something about his hugs. He hugged him not when he was excited, and to express that, but to express how much Nico meant to him at the moment and because he wanted to feel safe, just like Nico. As he just sat there in the other boy's arms, he felt at peace and started drifting to sleep and he felt Will's breathing slow down and get more rhythmic just before he went out like a light.

When he woke up, the clock said it was six am and he had an hour to still lie in bed before the other campers started waking up, and he just stared at Will, and enjoyed his presence. His arms were still around him and he was very close to Nico. His body felt warm against his, and yet under the blankets too, it was all comfortable.

All he could think about was what had happened last night-

Will said he knew he had a crush on Percy.

'I saw you looking at him and I saw all this admiration, and idolization. I knew you looked up to him and thought he was awesome, but it seemed like there was something more.' He'd said. Then he'd cut off his explanation to remind Nico, 'I know that you don't think much of yourself, but that's not how you really are. And when I tell you this, I want you to remember this and trust me on this.' 'Okay,' He had replied, because honestly he didn't know what else to say.

Then for about half an hour, Will explained to him how he started suspecting Nico was gay, and knew how hard things were for him and that he wanted to help him in fixing them. He told Nico that while watching him he fell for him in an iconic way. Will was a flustered mess while confessing that last part and Nico just liked him more and more, and knew what he felt. He hugged him tight, buried his face in his neck and told him how he had started to get feelings for him and in the past few days they had intensified and that he liked him too. That was when he realised why Will had been blushing so much.

The feeling of Will's arms gripping him closer and tighter and being so lost in him was the best, and Nico could tell that he wasn't gonna leave anytime soon.

Will had been with him for about a day and was already helping him so much and had started on healing him. He made him infinitely happy and Nico could only hope that he would too make Will feel that way.