Forgotten(Caspian x Lucy)

Chapter I: Maybe I Don't Want It To Be

Lucy's POV:

I stood in my small borrowed bedroom at my aunt and uncles staring unseeingly out the window. I was thinking about Narnia, about what Aslan had said after out departure, this time with Eustace in tow.

I couldn't help myself when I said mentally. "Aslan?". I wanted to go back, it seemed we only had been there a few moments and yet I knew it had been weeks, closer to a month actually.

Ii was the last time, Lucy! I said to myself. Just stop thinking about it. I tried to force y thoughts elsewhere unsuccessfully. I couldn't deny it.

I missed Narnia.

Everything about it, and everyone there. Immediately the name Caspian came to my mind, almost like someone had whispered his name in my ear. I shook my head to dislodge that particular thought. One person in Narnia I had well tried to quit thinking about.

Should I even bother saying I hadn't succeeded in that area either?

I felt a familiar pang as I remembered what he'd said on the Dawn Treader when I'd asked him if he'd found a queen for himself.

None to rival your sister. He said, that smile of his taking me in fully, my real question unbeknownst to him.

I frowned at my self pitying self. I didn't usually do this.

Mostly nowadays when I found myself feeling like that, I'd take a walk, letting the fresh country air calm my thoughts. It didn't work all the time, but sometimes it did.

It also seemed every time I started to feel that way, it was because of boys.

Yes, boys.

I am not, by any means boy crazy, even if every single time I go to the market and see young girls flirting with boys, some younger than I, seeing some girls kiss their loves goodbye as they head off to fight, when I pass the train station.

But never once has one young man ever looked at me.

Back in Narnia, it had been the same, the suitors that came were more likely to be Susan's than mine. How is that supposed to make me feel?

Sure, I know I'm not really beautiful, I'm the cute one. Always cute. I'm okay with that, I made peace with it on the Dawn Treader. Not seeing myself among my siblings and they not acting as if I even existed. It had scared me and Aslan had let me realize what would have happened without me.

So I was okay with not being beautiful. And Aslan knows this probably seems very similar to that situation, but it's not. Not really. I just kind of wanted a young man to notice me for once, for well.....me.

A tomboyish-more-likely-to-fight-alongside-my-brothers-during-a-war-girl.

And truthfully it was not just some accidental meeting with a young man I wanted to notice me, it was a King. A king I had left behind. This time for good.

I was sixteen now, Susan had suitors when she was fourteen and she hadn't even had her coming out yet.

I wasn't jealous of my sister, I didn't want one of her young men, I just wanted the unattainable one I could never have and even if I could........I paused in my tumbling thoughts.

He's in love with Susan. I rolled my eyes Heavenward. Okay perhaps I am slightly jealous. And I'm just like a sister to him.

I was so caught up in this dialogue with myself that I didn't hear somebody approaching me from behind.

"Lucy?", the person asked.

I jerked, startled out of my thoughts.

The person, which, as I turned, I learned was my cousin Eustace, said again.