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Addison is staying and your mother might have cancer and you're freaking out all over again.
What kind of daughter hopes that her mother might have cancer just so that she'll die high and happy rather than sad and slowly?
You visit Cristina, and Bailey tells her what happened, and Izzie and George and even George seem to be getting along with you and with each other now.
Seriously, you're not in high school, you're super done with the mediating of petty roommate conflicts.
A part of you wants to run and kiss Derek, but a bigger part of you knows that that would be a major step backward.
You couldn't do that to Addison after she decided to stay in Seattle for you, now could you?
You find out your mother isn't going to die a fast death from liver cancer and you send George to tell her.
Okay, so it's a little weird that Ellis Grey thinks that your roommate is your father, but you've got bigger fish to fry than to try to convince her otherwise.
It's raining, and it's fitting, and you don't even put on your coat before you sit out on the bench in it.
Water is healing right? And it hides away all your tears.
You think you'll stay out here for maybe ever, all by your lonesome until you hear a familiar figure approaching you.
So maybe it would be nice to have just a little bit of companionship.
"Meredith..." The voice is soft and soothing and it makes you feel safe and comfortable.
Thank goodness it isn't Derek.
"Addison..." You sigh, and the redhead comes up to sit down beside you.
She's wearing her black fur coat as if she's prepared this, and she looks all pristine next to you who is all soaking wet.
"I'm exhausted," you begin rambling. "My mother is exhausted. What happened to Cristina is exhausting. And you? Hating you is the most exhausting of all. And I don't want to do it anymore-" you cut yourself off from rambling, and you lean in infinitely closer to Addison.
She's all emerald green eyes, and ruby red lips, and all of a sudden you just have to kiss her.
"Meredith-" Addison cuts you off, and places a warm hand on your shoulder.
No, don't interrupt me. I just want to kiss you, and have you kiss me.
"Meredith-" Addison strokes your hair back, and pulls you in so your head lands on top of her shoulder.
Why won't she let me?
"I can't- we can't. I'm married, and you're hurting. I don't want this to blow up in your face again," says Addison as she plays with your hair gently.
Derek was married, but that never stopped him.
"You don't want me. Sorry, my bad-" you fumble. And then you realize you never even asked her if she liked women, and she's probably trying to let you down easy.
Why are the straight ones always so hot anyway?
"I didn't say that-" Addison cuts herself off sharply, and gives you a sympathetic look before she sighs, and rests her chin on your head.
So she does want you. Or at least she could, anyway. Interesting.
"I'm still sorry, I shouldn't have come onto you like that, I have impulse control issues clearly, and you were just so caring and that's usually how I respond to caring-" you explain to her.
You can feel her nod and smile at you before you even look up to meet her eyes. She accepts your apology, and she recommends that you get some sleep, and be with your friends for a little while. She says that she doesn't want you to make all the same mistakes that she has. You tell her that of all the words you'd use to describe her, 'mistake,' isn't one of them. And she just laughs.
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Fanfiction"So you didn't take him back," you hear her follow you down the hallway. No, I didn't. "Good girl," says Addison, as she walks in your shadow.
