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Your patient is going to be paralyzed if she doesn't have spinal surgery, and her father insists that she's not ready to have it, and Derek is still acting cute around you even though he really really has a wife.
Addison's looking for him. She's been looking for him all day. You wonder if it's for the divorce papers...
Derek's going to try to talk some sense into the father, and meanwhile, your brain is still reeling from the events of the previous evening.
Addison took off her wedding rings. She wasn't wearing them this morning, she put them into her wallet.
"Can you get a social worker in here so she can talk to the girl?" Derek asks you. "Yes, Dr. Shepherd," you answer him easily and professionally. He looks as though he wants to say more to you, but he doesn't.
If confusion were pain, you'd be winning up there along with your patient. Izzie's mad at George because he didn't kiss her. George is annoyed at both of you because you vented to him last night. And you keep wondering what Addison is really thinking about you.
She's not operating today, and you're not sure if she's going to go back on her word about not leaving Seattle. Today she's dressed in a black dress, and it looks very pretty.
At least your mother is going home today also. Back to the nursing home, where you'll visit her, and she may or may not remember you.
The patient doesn't want to talk to a social worker. She tells you about her traditions though.
It must be comforting to know that you have something sacred to believe in.
Addison catches you later, and tells you about George's great save in the elevator.
You're proud of him. He deserves a win after being called 007.
"You should have seen it, it was incredible. He had his hand on the aorta," Addison gushes.
If she praises you like this someday, you're pretty sure you'd melt right onto the floor.
Cristina's off tending to her patient who watches porn for pain management, and you chuckle when you hear Bailey grilling Derek about it. "PORN!? AS PAIN MANAGEMENT!?" She says it three times while waving her arms at him, and it's almost as entertaining as the case in itself.
You wish you could wash all of your pain away with some videos. Even if they had to be those kinds of videos.
You half want to ask Addison if she wants to get a drink with you at Joe's later, but then you realize she's not going to accept while she's married, even if it is to protect you.
You want to hold her hand, and take her on dates, and buy her a dozen roses. Or maybe a hundred.
You decide that maybe you'll write a speech for her. That'll get her attention, right? Maybe you'll ask your patient about how romantic it sounds.
As much as you're annoyed with Derek right now, he does always come through with the medicine, and this time apparently even with getting a Shaymin.
After your patient's healing ritual, the surgery goes very smoothly, and you're grateful.
Let's hope if you're ever injured that the surgical staff of Seattle Grace will be on your side at least this much.
You start practicing your imaginary love-speech for Addison. If you were going to say it to her it would go something along the lines of 'pick me, choose me, love me, because we both know that Derek is great, but you're really great, and I want to spend the next years of my life finding out if you ever wanted a dog, and what kind of music you like, and taking you out to the movies. And I might not be much but I'm loyal, and-'
It's a little pathetic. All rambly and run-on sentences. You really gotta work on your grammar skills.
And now you're pacing back and forth, and you're saying it aloud so it'll sound smoother, like the part where you want to be 'so in that you're having her over for dinner parties, and maybe you'll even have her meet your mother if she hasn't already, and you could go shopping together...'
Derek tries to catch your eye after surgery, but you tell him his wife is still looking for him, and that you've got to talk with her after.
And the next time you see both of them together, they're sitting over one of the cafeteria tables with two blue pens and a mountain of paperwork.
Holy crap, they really are getting divorced.
"Meredith," Addison smiles at you, after she looks up from the pages. "We're free," she says a bit nervously, side-glancing at Derek but it's way too late to be stopping you now.
And you had a whole speech planned and everything. Oh well, that's okay. You'll tell her all of that on your way home together.
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Fanfiction"So you didn't take him back," you hear her follow you down the hallway. No, I didn't. "Good girl," says Addison, as she walks in your shadow.
