Roger Taylor Imagines and One-shots

Keep Yourself Alive (Alternate Ending)

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, overdose, mental health triggers, depression, death

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THE WORLD FELT LIKE IT WAS CLOSING ON ME. Like I was stuck in a maze and the walls keep getting closer to crush me. Like my neck was being choked by someone mercilessly. Like someone had put my head underwater with no chance to breathe air again. That's how it felt. Well, on the inside that is.

On the outside, it was all normal, like I was happy and wasn't facing an invisible war inside of me, all alone and vulnerable. I was happy, and that's all they could see. To Freddie, Brian, Deaky, and most especially Roger, that's what I wanted them to see, like everything was going fine, but it wasn't, and it hasn't been for the last 6 years of my life.

"Hey love!" Roger approached me with a kiss after their gig, breaking me from my mindless stirring of my drink.

"Hey." I faced him as I spun in my seat, and glanced at his face. The thought of leaving this world had continually haunted me more times than I'd like to say, but seeing him, seeing us, I couldn't. I couldn't bear leaving the one thing in life that had gotten me through so much, but my heart could only take so much. "You know I love you, right?" I said as I caressed his cheeks with my thumb, wondering if I'll ever get to again.

Roger took my hand and kissed it. "Of course, I do." Roger was my person, he could see pass my bright smile and shining eyes, but it wasn't enough. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just...I can't believe how lucky I am to have you in my life." I said once more, and as I was approaching to kiss him, a voice broke our moment.

"Y/N! Darling, you're here!" Freddie greeted me, drinks in hand, ready to celebrate their successful gig. I just giggled at the gap between Roger and I, as he flicked his tongue on his lips, pissed at his friend's timing.

"Yes, I am." I answered him as he approached me with a kiss on both cheeks, and I waved to both Brian and Deaky.

The night was fun-filled. Drinks, dancing, it was all we had, and for a moment, it was as if everything was okay, but you come home once more, and it isn't.

I came home at 3am that night, and I saw my mother continually hitting my dad on the chest. She had caught him cheating once more.

Even if I was doubting myself already, and I already had enough of a war in my heart, I decided to broke them off and got between them. I can't have my family breaking once more. I could not bare that anymore.

"Mom! Dad! Stop!" I came in-between them to break them off, and my father accidentally hit me as he was about to hold my mother's hands. I had hit my head on the corner of the wooden oak table, and I was left with a massive headache. A crimson flow ended up on my forehead. They didn't mean it.

My mom and dad were left in shock, and my dad tried to approach me with teary eyes as he saw his little girl bleeding, but I didn't want him to. I ran up to my room and I couldn't believe that this was the life I had deserved to live. I grew up to be a good kid, a good student, a good person, but this is how my life had went.

I ran and I ran up to the stairs and into my room. I slammed the bright red door with a ringing sound and slumped on the door. I couldn't believe this is how my life was. I didn't deserve this. I didn't.

I didn't know how I woke up on my bed, I must've mindlessly dragged myself here. I woke up with the heavy feeling that has continually plagued me for the last years, and it had never gone.

I know I'm gonna be hurting a lot of people, but I couldn't take it anymore. No matter how good I have become, life has made me believe that I wasn't worth it. That I didn't deserve to feel joy in ny heart. Not anymore, and I didn't want to feel that anymore.