Blank Slate

Chapter 122 - Payton Taylor

This place was huge and looked like it was transplanted from an ancient countryside in Scotland. It even had ivy-covered stone walls and a bunch of small balconies jutting out from the exterior. Cole's home may look like an old castle from the outside, but the inside was chock full of technology and modern amenities. Personally, I thought the whole place felt impersonal, flashy, and drafty. I would probably be more comfortable at the Marriott that I had stayed in during training.

An older Hispanic woman dressed in grey slacks and a light blue sweater named Lina showed me to a corner room at the end of a long hallway lined with bedrooms. Inside the room, I found a king-sized bed with a snowy white quilted comforter, a large cherry wood armoire, an oval full-sized mirror, a work desk with an office chair in the corner, and a single upholstered armchair next to the window. Lina told me that dinner would be served soon and left me alone in the opulent room.

As I stood there, in a guest bedroom of a man I didn't trust, in the middle of nowhere Montana within the walls of a glorified private army headquarters, my ears started to ring and my breaths became increasingly shallow. What was I doing here? This place could be a twin of any number of properties that Luca had owned. A brick and mortar illustration of wealth and power. This kind of money and influence was addictive and was a perfect breeding ground for corruption. Was being a part of Whistler different from working for The Family? Had I inadvertently taken my new start and placed myself in the same situation that I was running from? What made Cole and Whistler different from Luca and the Mob?

The walls of the bedroom started to morph into those of Luca's study and I could hear his strong demanding voice. Lynch has pushed me too far this time. He needs to remember who runs this city and it isn't his precious men in blue. I want you to attend the Governer's Ball and make sure that Lynch chooses you as the flavor of the night. Then plant this. He will go down for Angelo's murder and learn a valuable lesson not to mess with me...

I was startled back into the here and now by a touch to my shoulder and I jumped away from the contact. Christopher stood in the room with an outstretched arm and a concerned look on his face. "Hey, you okay?" he asked in a low voice filled with worry. I just stood there staring at him as I tried to push away the old memories and pull my focus back into the present.

When I continued to remain silent, he said, "Dinner is ready. Do you want to head down with me?" I nodded my head and followed Christopher down the grand staircase as I continued to fight against the fog of memories that threatened to overwhelm me. We were the last to enter the room with an extremely long table running down the center. Our entrance didn't go unnoticed. I felt multiple stares filled with expectations and complicated emotions and I tried once again to retreat within my broken walls. Too many people wanted too much from me and I didn't know what to do or how to act.

Dinner passed in a blur and the food tasted like cardboard in my mouth. I vaguely remember Oliver and Christopher trying to engage me in a couple of different conversations and Lacey saying some rather rude things to me, but I couldn't make myself care. I was actively engaged in fighting the fog within my mind and everything else sort of blended into the background. Before I knew it, everyone was leaving the table and I moved on autopilot to follow them back to our hallway of rooms. I needed to get my shit together and figure out what the hell I was going to do next. The question was, how did I snap myself out of this unrelenting fog.

I thought about going for a run, but without my sling, I knew that all that jarring motion would seriously hurt. Maybe the pain would help clear my head. I was seriously considering it when Oliver followed me into my designated room and asked if I was alright. I wasn't alright but I didn't know how to explain the depth of how wrong I was to him. I didn't even fully understand that depth myself. It is quite possible that I was never alright in the first place and would never be alright in the future. I was broken, and a new name didn't change that fact.