Blank Slate

Chapter 146 - Payton Taylor

Cali was... everything.

She was purposeful in her movements. Graceful and confident in her strides, and completely ruthless both on and off the soccer field. She made intelligent and calculated moves with the end goal of ensuring that she always had the advantage of the situation. It didn't take me long to recognize, because I had also mastered the fine art of manipulation.

But in stark contrast to me, Cali was operating with an innocence that I never had. She was the master of her high school universe, meaning that her world revolved around pretty clothes, popularity, boys, sports, and classes. My world had revolved around pain, violence, drugs, sex, and death.

It was more than evident within minutes of laying eyes on her that Cali was thriving. She may have lost her father and may have to deal with age-appropriate problems, but the bottom line was my sister had a happy and healthy life. And it was just about the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Any resentment that I foreshadowed in this moment was nowhere to be found. The only emotion filling me as I watched Cali practically dance with a soccer ball at her feet was pride. This is what life is supposed to be. This is what childhood should look like. And there wasn't a single fiber of my being that wasn't filled with joy that she was given every advantage in this world.

My sister was safe and she was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. There was no way that I would jeopardize that.

Cali didn't need me in her life. I could only tarnish everything that she had here and there was no reason to risk it. She wasn't in trouble. She didn't need money. She didn't need protection. She wasn't lonely. She didn't need me.

She didn't need me even if I needed her.

I steadfastly absorbed every moment that I got to witness Cali's grace and tried to memorize everything about her during this small glimpse into her life. Ethan tried to talk to me multiple times, but my brain couldn't process anything except for Cali until she finally disappeared back into the school. The second that she was gone, a sense of loss descended over my shoulders like a physical weight.

I took a deep breath, mentally wrapped that weight more securely around myself, and hardened my heart to what I had to do next. Walk away.

Ethan must have sensed that I was no longer lost in my own head because he tried again, "What do you want to do now?"

I let my eyes fall back to the only other person to catch my attention tonight and told him, "Now I want to follow Elizabeth Barton. I think we should also search their house. I need to know if she knew about The Family. If my own mother had turned a blind eye to my fate for all of those years."

"Okay, we can do that. But I have to ask. What are you going to do when you find the answer to that question?" Ethan asked in a low voice as most of the crowd started to stand and walk towards the parking lot.

A couple of different answers to that question had crossed my mind, but after seeing Cali I knew that there was only one real way forward. I couldn't do anything. No matter what I found in that house, I was going to have to find the strength to walk away. Cali already lost her loving father. There was no way that I could be the reason that she lost her mother too. And confronting Elizabeth Barton was too unpredictable. For all I knew, she knew about my past and was on The Family's payroll. Not to mention that my research had illustrated she had a very materialistic lifestyle. Ten million dollars would be very tempting to a person like Elizabeth Barton.

"I am going to leave without ever letting either of them know that I was here. It is the smart play. But we need to check the house first. I want to double-check that Cali has the picture-perfect life that the records portray and I will go crazy if I don't get some answers. But as soon as I know that she is safe, we can leave," I told Ethan while keeping my eyes on the woman who brought me into this world.