The ghosts we hide (Winter Soldier x OC)

Forty seven

The next few days pass in a blur of artificial sleep and bad dreams. It seems Ilenova's mere brief presence is enough to unlock memories I thought I'd managed to forget.

On the third morning I'm allowed to leave, both Steve and Tony coming down to collect me.

Both men offer me bright smiles, asking how I am and if I'm feeling ok, but their joy doesn't reach their eyes which remain dull and clouded with worry.

A great silence stretches down the corridor ahead of us as we walk, the pace slower than usual thanks to my more fragile state. The men in either side of me are lost in thought, focus far from the world around them.

"He's not talking."

It's not a question - I already know the answer.

Both Tony and Steve let out great sighs, mouths tightly shut as we file into a stainless steel elevator. Only once the doors are closed and there is nothing else to distract from my words does Stark finally talk.

"We're keeping him in a government building about twenty minutes from here - maximum security, solitary confinement - all that jazz. He won't be getting out any time soon."

"You're not a politician Tony - you didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask a question." Stark quips back, meeting my molten gaze for a moment before sighing again, though a tiny spark of humour lights up his clouded brown eyes.

I let out a huff, watching him expectantly.

"No, he's not talking."

I nod, anxiety starting to ignite itself in my stomach.

"Tony and I have both been in with him, along with multiple government agents. We've tried threatening, bargaining, sleep deprivation - he just laughs and stays quiet."

Steve's voice is flat as he speaks, his usually bright blue eyes now lustreless and heavy with fatigue.

I knew from the beginning that Sergeant Aaron Ilenova wouldn't be that easy to crack, but it seems the rest of the team dared allow themselves hope.

Hope can be an awfully damaging thing.

"Is everyone upstairs?" I ask, clambering for a change of subject.

"All but Sam and Nat. Wilson has a prior commitment and Agent Romanoff is trying her hand at loosening our new friend's tongue."

Tony doesn't look overjoyed at the prospect. Natasha is the best of them, and if she can't crack him, no one will.

Except maybe me.

I push the thought as far from my mind as possible, revulsion at myself settling in my stomach. I'm fed up of knowing things I shouldn't, things that put people in danger. I swore to myself I'd never use that information as leverage.

I hope I can keep that promise.

*****

I take one of the longest showers imaginable, revelling in the warm spray on my still aching skin. All I've been allowed for the past three days are bed baths, which are highly ineffective when you insist on doing them yourself.

I could be a rather stubborn patient and no one was willing to argue with me.

I wonder why.

When I'm finally done, I struggle to wipe my body down one handed, the use of my left arm still prohibited by pain and doctor's orders. It should be a few weeks before it's healed. I have a sling to wear to keep that limb still, though even the mild jostling of walking sends a sharp throbbing through my muscles.