The Dreaded Return

I

~~

"What do you mean by 'broke down'?"  I wanted to laugh. And that probably made me a very bad person. But it's not like I was denying that. 

With control that was about to break any second, I repeat the sentence again. "Caroline, my car broke down."

"'Broke down' you say?" She asks again.

"Yep," I say, sounding nonchalant. 

"Meaning your not going to be coming home?" 

Small giggles leaked out of me as I heard the panic lining in her voice. I repeat a 'yes' again.

"Tell me you're joking?" She sounded scared like she had just been asked to battle a raging bull. This only made me want to laugh out loud more and more. 

But with control I did not know I possessed, I keep my voice solemn and controlled. 

"Yes, Caroline. I'm joking." I deadpan. 

I could hear groan very audibly as I told her what she wanted to hear. 

I stay in line, waiting for her to finish with her fit. When no sound comes from her anymore I ask, "Are you done getting it 'hot and heavy' with Walter?"

This time she shouts instead of groaning. 

I bring my palm to my mouth, muffling my very loud laughter. Calming myself down, I continue, "Da-yum girl, If I'm interrupting you and Nathan with my woes about being stuck on the highway, then by no means, I'll let you go. It seems like your doing something very important."

She actually screams in frustration. 

I pat myself in the back, proud of how annoyed I had made her in less than seven minutes. This was a new record. And I was very proud of myself for achieving it. 

I click on the mute button and then laugh. A full, blown-out, lying on the floor laugh. By the time I'm done, drops of tears trailed down my cheeks. 

I unmute myself. "You were saying?"

Caroline let out a heavy sigh of disbelief. "Did you actually not hear anything I said?"

Oooh. 

She sounded pissed. Time to make her even more pissed. 

"Obviously. Why would I want to listen to Walter making you scream as he plows into you?" 

And I did. She was even more pissed. 

She shouts my name. 

I hum in response. 

She sighs. 

"Are you really not going to come?" The tenderness and disappointment in her voice almost made me want to stop. 

Almost. 

I mirror my voice to make it seem as though I shared the same feelings she did. "You know I want to. But I can't. I'm stuck on this stupid highway with no cars passing by. It looks like I'm sleeping in my car tonight." I sigh a sorrowful sigh to make it more believable.