I Don't Want You To Run Away

Chapter Nineteen

Percy's POV

I sighed as I tapped my pencil against my desk in my recording room, my phone which was recording me picking it up.

I'm trying to plan out my album but I have no idea where to start.

Yes, I have 'I Miss You'.

Maybe add in 'She Don't Know' as I never released it officially.

But I have stumbled across a mind blank which I cannot for the life of me get out of.

I opened up my solo writing ideas notebook, the binder almost broken from the amount of times I've used it over and over.

Frantically I'm surprised I haven't finished the notebook or destroyed it yet.

I flicked through the pages, some of the songs I have published, some which were just in the moment ideas. 

I paused at a page where I wrote recently, just before Emily came into my life and I was alone.

"I was lonely..." I whispered as I looked at the page and noticed watermarks from my tears when I wrote.

"Is everybody lonely

Is everybody scared
Is everybody worried
That no one really cares" I started

I paused before continuing

"See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone

Still I wonder why my heart is always broke
What a way to live, let the fear take all control
Oh, this ain't life, no, I'm not alive" I spoke, remembering writing these lyrics.

I hummed, trying to think of something else to write with it.

I rolled over to my keyboard on my chair, my book and pencil still in hand.

I placed the notebook and then the pencil on the built in stand and then turned on the piano. 

I started to play a couple of C# minor and A major 7th chords

"Is everybody lonely

Is everybody scared
Is everybody worried
That no one really cares" I sung going between the chords.

"See I'm afraid to love, but afraid to be alone

Still I wonder why my heart is always broke
What a way to live, let the fear take all control
Oh, this ain't life, no, I'm not alive"

I changed the chords slightly as I continued.

"Are we all the same looking for love
Looking for love
Are we all in chains
'Tryna be enough
Be enough" I sung softly, and then played the drone.

I took a shaky breath as I flicked a couple of pages in my writing notebook, knowing exactly what random lyric I wanted to add in.

"I'm 'tryna write my perfect story

I'm working nights and working days" I sung "To prove the world that I am worthy,

Of being seen, of being praised"

I paused, not knowing what I write next.

I groaned with frustration, placing my head on the keyboard creating a sickening sound.

I looked over to the coffee table which was near the couch, flashbacks of Emily helping me write 'I Miss You' shone in my head.

I also noticed my diary still placed there, from when I wrote my last entry in it.