Just Coffee k. akaashi

𝚋𝚛𝗈𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝗈𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝖺𝚝. 𝖺𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 (𝖺 𝚌𝗈𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝗎𝖺𝚝𝚒𝗈𝚗)

TW: suicidal thoughts/ uhm they also say a bad word :|

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𝚑𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎.

i often overthink many things 

but it's not quite as bad as the days where i don't think at all

i sometimes sat in my bedroom looking at nothing in particular 

waiting for things to get better

waiting for everything to make sense

i sometimes felt as if i was going through life without any sense of direction

i felt lost almost 

i would've much rather be floating about in an alternate universe

how could anyone love me

not even my parents wanted me

so why would you 

i feel stupid now

how could i ever think anyone could love me

i smiled in my daze

"im such a baka" 

no one would even care if i just. . . wasn't there

he's probably just using me for my body

you don't need me in your life

my parents obviously only thought of me as a nuisance and an unwanted mistake

and it hurts to stay alive

to get rejected again and again

not only by you and the rest of society but by my own fucking parents.

it really fucking hurts

not even just mentally but physically 

it feels likes my chest is aching for some sort of acceptance

my back is aching from all the baggage i carry day in and day out

my head is hazy from all the thoughts that overfill it

my hands often shake from anxiousness

i physically could not handle it anymore 

i was over it all

though i kept going on for a bit

i wanted to see how would things would unfold yk?

ok i lied i did it because i was a coward

i was afraid

but i guess we all snap at some point 

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. . .𝚒 𝚓𝗎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚢𝗈𝗎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝗈𝚛 𝚖𝚎. . .

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. . .𝖺𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝖺𝚜𝚝 𝗈𝚗𝚌𝚎. . .