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Fallon did her best to shake off her nerves as she waited alongside her sister and bandmates for their cue to take the stage. Erin's face was clouded with judgement as it had been for almost a week.

Her sister had never been Calum's biggest fan, at least not where his relationship with Fallon was concerned and her sleepover with him after the club in New York hadn't been well received. She knew that Erin was doing everything she could to prevent herself from letting Fallon know the true extent of her annoyance but Fallon had been around the block a time or two with her sister and she knew Erin was pissed. She'd only be more so if she knew that Fallon had kissed him.

In an effort to avoid adding fuel to the fire Fallon had steered clear of the brown eyed boy. If she was doing that solely for her sister's benefit or if it was really just that she was a coward was unclear but she was in no rush to hash that one out. All she knew was that she had to make it through the performances that lay ahead of her. They weren't even a month into the tour and she wasn't sure that her mental health could take the hit that exploring things with Calum would require.

The cue for them to take the stage came through their in-ear monitors and Fallon followed behind the other girls up the stairs and to their respective spots on stage. Slowly over the first weeks of tour, Fallon had built up her walls so that she was able to hear their songs, many of them that she had written for their most recent album after her break up with Calum, without breaking down.

'The Only Exception' still made her tear up but she was making herself numb to the words and trying to disconnect from the deeply personal meaning that song held. That of course was made at least a little harder by Calum's reaction to her drunken decision-making the night they spent together in New York. In true Calum fashion he had been a perfect gentleman. He came when she called and took care of her without complaint or expectations.

The only regret she had from the entire thing was that she had kissed him the next morning. It was a cruel and selfish thing to do because she knew that in his mind it would mean something and in hers she wasn't so sure that it did.

She had been grateful that he had taken care of her, she had felt lonely and isolated the entire time they had so far been on the road and he'd been standing there in only his boxers looking so damn kissable that she couldn't resist. She had forgotten exactly how great of a kisser he really was and she had thoroughly enjoyed the reminder.

In the aftermath she had felt only confused. All of her emotions had spiraled when the month had changed to October. The promise of so much that no longer existed had pushed her to be careless and her added vulnerability was what she was choosing to blame her erratic behavior on.

Calum wouldn't see it that way and she knew it and so she had made sure to make her presence scarce.

Fallon hated that she had led him on and that she now found herself guilty of a lot of the things she had been angry at him for so long about. Part of her wanted to deny any responsibility for her actions and blame the odd and uncomfortable circumstances that she was living through but she had always been one who was able to be honest with herself and she knew where the blame truly lied.

Their set went on, her body on autopilot while her mind tried to remind her why she used to live for the stage. She had been so preoccupied with her personal life for the entirety of the tour that she had yet to find a single moment where she could just enjoy the feeling of a performance. She tried, it was just that everytime she almost felt at ease she would pay too much attention to the lyrics her sister was singing and the pain in her heart would ruin the moment.

That was the situation she found herself in as Erin sang then, only a few feet away from her.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do
I don't know where to turn
If I can't turn to you, no
Cause I made enough mistakes
To last us both a lifetime
And it'll take that long to realise
That you're not mine

Cause it seems like now
I've got a lot to be okay with
We never got to say we made it
My favourite colours gone and faded

Makes me wonder, did we waste it
But you don't owe me anything
Don't hear me out, I'll just sing
If you don't wanna know
I understand, but just know
Oh, that you don't owe me anything

Don't listen to me, the words just sting
If you want me to go
I understand, but just know, oh

This is what it feels like to lie
And you're missed
And though you ripped the heart of
Someone you loved out of your chest

Oh, no And I guess that this is how it feels
When you got nothing left
And you could have done something
But you gave up instead,

She harmonized with Erin as the sound of their voices filled the stadium. Her eyes scanned the crowd, humbled by the sheer number of people in the audience that were screaming the words she had written to help escape her heart ache back to her.

The corner of her eye caught a glimpse of him, hidden by the shadows from the sides of the stage. No one in the audience would know he was there but she had a perfect view. He stood with his shoulder leaned against a wall, his arms crossed, and the brown eyes she adored permanently fixed on her. She stumbled over the next line of lyrics and leaned back from the mic, her eyes returning to the crowd and thankful that hardly anyone would notice her flub, she was only singing harmony.

When she had recomposed herself she stepped back up to her microphone and finished out the song to a thunderous applause. She took a chance and looked back to the spot where Calum had stood only moments before and felt the disappointment seep in when she saw now only an empty space.

An: so Erin isn't Cal's biggest fan. Do you think that's justified?

What do we think of their reactions?

Ily,
Sav 🖤

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