Somebody I Don't Know : Book 1 of the Teeth Series

16

Neither Calum or Fallon got any sleep after her admission. The memories of everything they had been through at the beginning of the year were stirred up and reawakened after months of them both doing everything in their power to suppress them.

"Sometimes I miss them." Fallon said quietly. Calum's arms were wrapped loosely around her waist as they lay in his hotel bed. The weight of her admission pressing her deeper into the blankets that they had buried themselves beneath.

Calum was quiet after she spoke. He'd always been a good listener and even though so much time had passed since she had last confided in him, when she had seen the date on her phone during check in, she had known deep in her heart that he was the only one who would understand the emotions she was feeling.

"I didn't know that was possible." She said into the silence. "To miss someone you never met."

Calum's arms tightened around her, holding her closer to his chest, his nose buried into her hair. She knew it was wrong, but it felt so completely right to be in his arms, especially on a day like this.

"Sometimes I don't even feel like my grief is valid." She whispered and she felt his body tense around hers before his hands gently gripped her arms and pushed her away just enough so that their eyes could meet. Her eyes were tear stained and red rimmed, his were concerned and full of sympathy.

"Fallon, whatever you're feeling is valid. Anyone who says otherwise is fucking wrong."

"Yeah, but the one saying it is me." She mumbled.

He was quiet, it wasn't out of character for him but when she was desperate for him to say something, anything, it was frustrating to hear only the soft sounds of their breathing.

"I blame myself." He said finally, his tone full of remorse.

She craned her neck to look at him, her eyes falling to his and searching for an answer she wouldn't find.

"I should have handled everything differently, I should have been there for you, and I damn sure shouldn't have left you."

"Cal, no. I don't want to get into all of that." She said, shaking her head dismissively. "We can't change the past and I don't want you to say things you don't mean because you feel bad for me right now."

"That's not what this is, Fallon."

"Maybe, but I can't deal with it today."

"I need you to know that I mean it though."

She turned away from him but his arms surrounding her prevented her from getting any farther. Her lips didn't move, too stunned to speak anymore but her thoughts were rampant. Was he only saying this because she had brought up the baby? Did he mean it? Or would things go back to being awkward and tense when the date no longer held significant meaning?

Fallon was completely and totally submerged in her own head when she felt the rough pad of Calum's finger brush across the back of her shoulder blade.

"Do you remember when you got this?" He asked her, continuing to trace the rose tattoo.

"How could I forget?" She said with a laugh, the first real laughter he had heard from her in ages. "You got so tired of me talking about how much I wanted it and how it represented new beginnings and hope. You knew I'd chicken out, so you made the appointment and surprised me mid-date in Nashville."

"And you still tried to get out of it." He smiled. "When did you get this one?" His finger dragged over the small music note she had gotten just behind her ear.

"Few months ago. I got it just to see if I could feel something." She said, being a bit more candid that perhaps she should have been.

"Did it work?"